Democrats of America: Why settle for less when you can have the best?
While there is no shortage of leftist politicians who specialize in crafting elaborate word salads, full of sound and fury, signifying absolutely nothing, everyone knows that Kamala Harris is the Iron Chef of sophistic slaw.
It often got so bad in the waning years of the Biden administration that even The Daily Show had to make fun of her for her trademark incomprehensible prattling.
This Comedy Central Daily Show skit ripping Kamala Harris' word salads is both brutal and hilarious. pic.twitter.com/ODT5hc4Cf3
— Matt Wolking (@MattWolking) May 22, 2024
When you've lost Jon Stewart and Comedy Central ...
Of course, here at Twichy, we couldn't let them have all the fun. When yet another speechwriter quit on Harris (likely due to having a stroke listening to her), we tried to help out with the hashtag #WriteASpeechForKamala, resulting in countless job applicants to craft her claptrap.
We will work together, and continue to work together, to address the issues, to tackle the challenges, and to work together as we continue to work together on the premise that we will convene to work together to galvanize global action of working together.#WriteASpeechForKamala
— 𝓐𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷 𝓡𝓪𝔂 (@2CynicAl65) July 15, 2022
Pure poetry that would put Shakespeare to shame.
Sadly, when Harris got her hind parts handed to her in the 2024 election, we feared we might lose her signature brand of balderdash forever.
But fear not! Because the Democrats can't seem to find a single candidate who can compete nationally in the 2028 presidential race, Harris remains a frontrunner -- as Republicans nationwide fall to their knees and cry out, 'Oh, please, please, please, please, PLEASE!'
Last night, Harris spoke to Don Lemon and, as our Warren Squire reported, she's dead set on exacting revenge on her political enemies -- and average Americans -- should she miraculously land the seat in the White House.
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But it wouldn't be a Harris appearance if she didn't also remind America that she is the undisputed champion of rhetorical rigamarole. Here she is, expounding on 'hope and light' so profoundly (in her own mind) that it would make Henry Wadsworth Longfellow bow in defeat.
Kamala explains to Don Lemon the power of hope:
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) June 20, 2026
“I really, truly believe this. We we each have have light inside of us. And we need to know that that is what inspires our hope as much as anything external to ourselves. And when we feel that and and and not allow an election or… pic.twitter.com/E8ktOBAtTy
Umm, we're not sure how to tell her this, but hope already IS a verb. She doesn't have to anoint it as one.
But come on, man. Come on. Admit it. You missed this just a little bit, didn't you?
LOL.
Kamala turning 'keep hoping' into modern poetry: 'We have light inside us that we need to light the light so the light can verb the hope through the darkness of the light.' 😬
— I Am Sandra 🇨🇦 (@covidrefugee) June 20, 2026
Truly an inspiring... light-filled... hope-verbing moment 🤦♀️ https://t.co/faUOLbB6cr
She's the maestro of mumbo jumbo. Everyone else is just a pretender to her throne.
I was inspired by my internal hope which should be considered a verb
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) June 20, 2026
Who could ever want to be unburdened from this has-been?
They made sure to crop this out of the shot. pic.twitter.com/sNNoEluH5t
— Anthony Galli (@AnthonyGalli) June 20, 2026
Hey, now! We would never insinuate that Harris has a ... [hic] ... drinking problem.
I don’t know about you, but I am so glad we are unburdened by what has Gin 🥃 https://t.co/tZSSsHy1VU pic.twitter.com/IRE6iFEOoB
— 𝕄𝔸𝔾𝔸 𝕎𝔸ℝℝ𝕀𝕆ℝ 🇺🇸 (@_USRepublic) June 20, 2026
STOP THAT!
It’s amazing that one human can contain that much FEELZ™️.
— Texas Boomer (@TheTexasBoomer) June 20, 2026
It's like we're in 'Brat Summer' 2.0.
— Fearless45 (@Fearless45Trump) June 20, 2026
— Fearless45 (@Fearless45Trump) June 20, 2026
We think we just found her next speechwriter.
Of course, not everyone can appreciate Harris as the nonpareil of nonsequiturs. Shockingly, some even find it difficult to hear the Princess of Prattle.
https://t.co/8cQjfQZqqe pic.twitter.com/SjRKX0Z6CA
— Morgan Rhinegelt (@rhinegelt) June 20, 2026
I still wake up and thank God sometimes that she isn’t our president pic.twitter.com/JjVskSo9FH
— Marie Isabella (@MarieIsabellaB) June 20, 2026
What can we say? Sometimes, a little ear bleeding is necessary to appreciate a generational political talent such as Harris.
I wake up happy every day this drunken cackling dimwit is not POTUS. Thank you Lord...
— Defenestrate (@Defenestrate123) June 20, 2026
There really needs to be a laugh track in the background every time Kamala speaks.
— DespeRobbo (@Desperobbo) June 20, 2026
We almost -- almost -- got that from Lemon himself last night.
Not sure even Don was buying it pic.twitter.com/eHPRaiHaR4
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) June 20, 2026
He's trying SO HARD to keep a straight face. For the cause.
She talks like I would write some English papers on a book I didn't read or care about.
— Asianabsinthe (@SMH3770) June 20, 2026
🤦♀️ she’s baaaacckkk pic.twitter.com/d21nNY6oo0
— thelovelybones (@Rock_Hound1988) June 20, 2026
Yes, she is, baby!
Tanned, rested, and rambling.
And to that, we can only hope (see? a verb) for one thing:
RUN, KAMALA, RUN!
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Editor’s Note: Help us continue to report the truth about corrupt, galactically stupid politicians like Kamala Harris.
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