One of the funniest things that happens on Twitter nearly every day is when a decrepit, utterly irrelevant pundit makes pronouncements as though he or she is etching stone tablets with Commandments that everyone will gaze upon in wonder and bow before in obeisance.
Pick pretty much any Never Trumper, from Joe Walsh to David French. They all do it. They say something about themselves that is entirely obvious -- and has been obvious for at least the last decade -- and expect wild adulation from the masses who have long since abandoned them to obscurity.
For me, perhaps the most insufferable of them all, however, continues to be William Kristol. Maybe it's because there was a time -- when I was much younger and more naive, and Kristol wasn't the ancient dinosaur he is today -- when I actually looked forward to his commentary in The Weekly Standard or on ABC's This Week.
(For you young kids out there, believe it or not, This Week was actually once a respected news program when it was hosted by David Brinkley and not by Bill Clinton's miniature attack dog, George Stephanopoulos.)
But that Bill Kristol died a long time ago. The one who now operates The Bulwark is just a shell of a human being, imagining himself to be dropping profound bits of manna from Heaven when, in truth, everyone just wants him to shut up and go away, retiring to whatever pasture will have him.
This morning, Kristol hoped everyone would genuflect before his enlightened wisdom when he pronounced in a tweet that he is -- GASP! -- a Democrat.
I’m pro-freedom, pro-law and order, pro-limited government, and pro-the Declaration and the Constitution.
— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) May 16, 2026
And so today I’m a Democrat.
Gee, really? How could everyone have guessed that, given your recent support of Kamala Harris, Zohran Mamdani, and pretty much any leftist who would promise that their sole reason for existence was to be an impediment to the Bad Orange Man?
Least surprising news ever. No one cares. https://t.co/bsGUaKP7Nq
— Miranda Devine (@mirandadevine) May 16, 2026
You think this is news? pic.twitter.com/8ExPXQn8kC
— Leslie ن 🇺🇸☦️ (@LADowd) May 16, 2026
Maybe everyone's first clue that Kristol has always been a Democrat (at heart if not in name) was his start in politics, working for Daniel Patrick Moynihan.
But Kristol disguised his true self for decades, becoming one of America's most prominent 'neoconservatives.' That worked until the Trump era, when the neocons were revealed (or, more accurately, revealed themselves) to be little more than uber leftists in red-white-and-blue clothing.
Of course, the true chutzpah of Kristol's declaration lies in his list of the qualities he pretends to possess in order to consider himself a Democrat.
Pro-freedom?
That's funny. I can't remember Kristol ever speaking out in recent years about the Democrats' assault on the very first and most fundamental of Americans' enumerated rights in the Constitution.
Are you pro-censorship too?pic.twitter.com/r7r7akXHjK https://t.co/mbOk0RVIcR
— MAZE (@mazemoore) May 16, 2026
Yep, those are the 'pro-freedom' Democrats with whom Kristol aligns himself.
Pro-limited government?
Oh.
Good stuff dude. The Bulwark. https://t.co/xx4hrs4o6i pic.twitter.com/NWalwXUCwf
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) May 16, 2026
That's the team Kristol works with. Doesn't sound very 'limited government' to me. Or to anyone with a brain.
Pro-Declaration and Constitution?
This was Kristol just last month praising Democrats in Virginia who lied to voters and violated the state's Constitution to pass an illegal gerrymander.
Come for my defense (sort of) of Elbridge Gerry. Stay for my praise of the citizens of Virginia.
— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) April 22, 2026
"Two Cheers for Gerrymandering (For Now)"https://t.co/23fXx0GCyu
Did Kristol stand up and cheer for the Constitution when the Supreme Court of Virginia and SCOTUS smacked that referendum down?
Hardly.
Maybe the biggest insult of all, though, was Kristol claiming that he and the Democrats are 'pro-law and order.'
Pro law and order. 🤣
— MAZE (@mazemoore) May 16, 2026
Remember when the last guy left the border wide open, stopped deportations, and supported sanctuary cities ignoring federal law?
I remember that last guy. And I remember when Kristol never called him out on it.
Even worse, Kristol made his 'pro-law and order' declaration the very morning after nearly every Democrat in the House of Representatives voted against honoring police and law enforcement for National Police Week.
I also remember Kristol, Mr. Law and Order, saying this just a couple of months ago.
Defund ICE. https://t.co/1uRfrNalOX
— Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) February 7, 2026
Illegal alien criminals who murder and assault women and children running rampant on our streets are fine for Kristol. It's the law enforcement officers trying to deport them who are the problem.
Bill wants to defund ICE. Yes, he's a Democrat. But everyone knew that already. https://t.co/OI62yR9bDh pic.twitter.com/ncgRbyj6HK
— Western Lensman (@WesternLensman) May 16, 2026
That's his definition of 'law and order.'
So, yes, Bill. We all KNOW you are a Democrat.
But you don't get to pretend you are ANY of those other things you listed.
Saying you are a Democrat because you are "pro-limited government" is like saying you are vegan because you like bacon. https://t.co/VvmW7A1GeC
— Cynical Publius (@CynicalPublius) May 16, 2026
I'm a deer hunter, a fisherman, and a carnivore.
— Happy Granddadddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd (@PlotWeaver) May 16, 2026
And so today I'm a vegan.
"I'm pro-Jesus, Pro-God, Pro-Christianity and Pro-bible, and so today, I'm an Atheist." https://t.co/YnZtQu8jjJ
— Sensurround (センサラウンド) (@ShamashAran) May 16, 2026
Twitter made the point pretty clearly. Leftists aren't any of the things Kristol claimed, and neither is he.
So, yes. He's a Democrat. We know. We've known for longer than he has.
But at least everyone can bid good riddance to Kristol's pretense of being conservative -- a pretense that no one has believed since at least 2015.
He's their problem now.
I’m so glad losers like Bill Kristol have joined the Democratic Party. People like him now get to be the Left’s problem instead of ours.
— Christian Heiens 🏛 (@ChristianHeiens) May 16, 2026
Let the beautiful losers bat for the Dems. Whichever side they fight for is destined to lose because their "limited government" worldview… https://t.co/XMVWs2CEmm
... precludes them from ever taking any sort of action in their own self-interest. It's time for the Left to hold the idiot ball for once and be paralyzed by abstractions.
Kristol is so good at 'idiot ball,' we're happy he's finally going pro and joining the reigning dynastic champions of that sport: the American Democrat Party.
He'll fit right in with the rest of the 'new left' Democrats like Nick Fuentes, Tucker Carlson, Candace Owens, and far too many others.
Heck, he's even got his own tagline:
Only always, Bill. Only every day of your life for the past 10 years at least.
The only quality you possess that surpasses your ability to always be wrong is your complete irrelevance to the political discourse.
Now that you've stopped pretending to be something you're not, maybe you can start a podcast with Don Lemon and Jim Acosta.
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