For years, we've been trying to figure out what purpose Brian 'Potato' Stelter actually serves in the modern media landscape, and we still haven't come up with anything.
In his first career at CNN, Stelter seemed to exist only to watch Fox News (Tucker Carlson, in particular) and then tell everyone how much he disliked him. For that, CNN paid him nearly $1 million per year (until they fired him in 2022 after the failure of his CNN+ baby).
Bafflingly, CNN has brought him back (at severely reduced pay, we hope), and Stelter still defies all explanation of what he does for a living, other than being a doughy punching bag for conservatives and sane people.
His X account is no different, where most of his posts consist of, 'Look what I saw!' We sure hope Elon Musk is not monetizing him for that.
This morning, the Potato showed everyone that he could read a newspaper headline, which, honestly, is something we had our doubts about.
reading the local paper this morning... pic.twitter.com/2ez1ssM94g
— Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) August 27, 2025
Hang on a second. Local paper? Stelter lives in New Jersey. The Baltimore Sun is not his 'local paper.'
But his geographic confusion aside, Stelter's objective is the same as it was back when he was the host of Reliable Sources. He wants everyone to share his outrage at Donald Trump.
There's only one problem: Baltimore IS a hellhole. If Stelter were indeed a 'local,' he would know that.
I mean…
— Burt Macklin (@BurtMaclin_FBI) August 27, 2025
All of Baltimore's failures aren't exactly classified information.
You can continue being mad at the president for stating the obvious, or you can care about the people who live in such places and how their lives are adversely affected.
— Snarknado ⚓️ 🇺🇸 (@ZannSuz) August 27, 2025
We all have eyes & ears & all the posturing and bluster from the left doesn’t change the simple truth.
You…
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You would rather reflexively oppose anything this administration does than care about what the people are saying.
We have reported in the past about the rampant crime in Baltimore, but Stelter doesn't care. Trump said something he thought was mean, and it made him cry.
Its called Bodymore, Murderland for a reason.
— Lakota Ma'am (@Blacknatwatch) August 27, 2025
If Stelter doesn't think it's a hellhole, we'd like to challenge him to walk around the city alone at night, kind of like we challenged J.B. Pritzker.
And it's not just in the crime rate. Baltimore is an educational failure as well.
Here's school leaders congratulating themselves because SOME students can read and do basic math https://t.co/l6dbdGAbaC pic.twitter.com/Zd25kr2j7N
— Joe's AutoPen (@seeaustinnow) August 27, 2025
The fact that Stelter can read a newspaper headline means that he probably didn't go to a Baltimore public school.
Imagine being a @CNN employee and the fact that @BaltCitySchools’s being not proficient in Reading and Math doesn’t make you concerned that the @POTUS is right… https://t.co/O46e9nyiRj
— Don’t 🍎 With Me, Vaughn! (@Da_Nasty_Man) August 27, 2025
Why should he be concerned? He doesn't live there. And he won't be raising his children there.
not many newspapers have an entire season of a TV show (The Wire) dedicated to how much they suck, but the Baltimore Sun does https://t.co/Utqld8eR40
— Jaguar D. Ziggy (@Hysteracles) August 27, 2025
The entire television show was about how crime-ridden and corrupt every aspect of the city is, and it hasn't exactly gotten better since The Wire's final episode in 2008.
Didnt you live in NJ, now you live in Baltimore? https://t.co/C8SVUwDChB
— Random Guy (@NotNJ_Taxman) August 27, 2025
No. He does not.
How many people were shot in Baltimore this week, Brian?
— Lili von Shtupp (@LvS_Redux) August 27, 2025
Potato doesn't know.
How dare he call their hellhole a hellhole https://t.co/h0Rj7OsOqm
— Still Boneless (@still_boneless) August 27, 2025
There aren't enough pearls in the world for Stelter to clutch them all simply because the President told the truth.
And, by the way, where exactly is Potato reading his newspaper, anyway?
Is that the bathroom floor of an old mcdonalds
— Kyle Mann (@The_Kyle_Mann) August 27, 2025
I think Brian Stelter is posting from the toilet in McDonalds. https://t.co/NN8HuRjX6M
— Good Shepherd Nika (@TheGoodShep45) August 27, 2025
LOL.
That is some fast-food restaurant-looking tile, that's for sure.
Ultimately, however, despite his latest failed attempt to stoke outrage, Stelter is still not able to answer our burning question: what it is that he actually does.
BREAKING!! 🚨🚨 Reporter reports on reporting! Could the incestuous cycle sustain?? More at 11! https://t.co/CmSxffw1mc
— Christopher Allenby (@Allenby48) August 27, 2025
He's not making $1 million a year anymore, but Potato will keep trying to go back to that well, no matter how much it has dried up.
Members of the news media reporting on what each other are doing is probably one of the most useless forms of journalism
— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) August 27, 2025
Useless.
Yes, that describes Brian Stelter perfectly.
Useless and extremely pudgy.
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