You know, if crime is actually down 30% in your city, it's not likely that your police force has ever had to give out instructions for how to avoid getting carjacked - just putting that out there, D.C.
The reality is that D.C. has been cooking the books on crime statistics, so it appears they're taking care of their city and, more importantly, their citizens.
About that ... yeah, no.
This is sadly hilarious:
This was advice circulated by DC police in 2021 for how not to get carjacked.
— Brent Scher (@BrentScher) August 12, 2025
My favorites: never drive alone, only drive in the center lane, and avoid traffic pic.twitter.com/d7cHjMYiyy
Only drive in the center lane.
Avoid traffic.
Holy Hell.
They might as well have just said not to drive in D.C. at all to avoid getting carjacked.
Remember when the DC AG tried to blame Hyundai and Kia for making their cars too easy to steal?
— Parker Thayer (@ParkerThayer) August 12, 2025
That's RIGHT. They wanted to blame car companies instead of the thug a-holes carjacking people in D.C.
EL OH EL.
‘Always drive with your doors locked, IF a thief can’t get in, you have a better chance of leaving with it.’ A better chance. pic.twitter.com/Kxsp36TwE0
— Savannah (@BasedSavannah) August 12, 2025
Never leave home without your Spidey-sense.
— Virginia Kruta (@VAKruta) August 12, 2025
Nothing about staying strapped?
— EpsteinListDidNotHangItself (@tinleyharrier) August 12, 2025
This is D.C. we're talking about, but we wondered the same. Nothing about being armed?
Yep, crime is definitely way down. So obvious 🤣 pic.twitter.com/0O9VEg2tpa
— SonofLiberty357 (@SonofLiberty357) August 12, 2025
Absolutely. And clearly, D.C. is a fantastic place to live, ask Mayor Muriel Bowser.
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
Sorry.
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