Attention, New Yorkers: The new socialist paradise that New York Mayor Zohran Mamdani is ushering into your city is currently undergoing some ... ahem ... goalpost relocations.
After promising to only tax the rich, Mamdani's transition team had to beg his voters for more money because they were broke. And after assuring New Yorkers that all bus rides would be free, as soon as he took office, the city's transit authority raised the prices.
But all is not lost, Big Apple. Mamdani is still promising free stuff. For instance, at least the city won't become San Francisco, where people just go number one and number two in the middle of whatever street they happen to be on. Watch:
NOW — Zohran Mamdani announces a multi-million dollar plan to install “modular public restrooms” in New York City pic.twitter.com/2nCB2yn1fo
— Chief Nerd (@TheChiefNerd) January 10, 2026
Ahh, the glories of Communism! Where you will always have a place to poop!
Also, what is with his soaring rhetoric here? He's talking about Porta-Potties. Just say that.
He can't say that, though, because everyone knows that Porta-Potties are filthy and no one wants them in their neighborhood. So he tries to recast them as some sort of cool, sophisticated European feature like 'modular public bathroom.'
Ooh, sounds so cosmopolitan!
Of course, there is also the problem of how Mamdani is going to pay for the ongoing security, maintenance, and upkeep of his free, public outhouses. He almost certainly has no plan for that, so the inevitable result will be ... well, inevitable.
These "modular bathrooms" will be occupied by the homeless, used to make/use drugs, will be destroyed within hours of opening, used for sex/prostitution work, will be utterly filthy, become taken over by gangs who claim turf, and attract even more crime.pic.twitter.com/bw84HumOLj
— Autism Capital 🧩 (@AutismCapital) January 10, 2026
One hundred percent guaranteed.
Not to mention the vermin and disease that these unmaintained Porta-Potties will attract.
Coming soon, to New York City! https://t.co/oDpvzvGslj pic.twitter.com/KNEfnntMO1
— Make Sense Common Again! (@bombtownmice) January 11, 2026
And they will only look that clean for the first five minutes of Day One.
$4M dollars for modular bathrooms. I can only imagine what these bathrooms will be like a week after they are installed. Ick. https://t.co/3kjuHdpJrt
— GabbyGirl 🐶 (@GabbyGirl0409) January 11, 2026
Or an hour after they're installed.
We notice that Mamdani doesn't have any realistic plans to reduce crime or homelessness in his city, but maybe this is part of his plan for the 'unhoused.'
The funniest part is that, like most of Mamdani's other ideas, this isn't even a new one. It's been tried before, with horrendous results.
They tried that s*** here.
— MAGADevilDog (@MAGADevilDog) January 11, 2026
Predictable AF. https://t.co/HH10fJ4SAt pic.twitter.com/GGM3gn2KI7
But THIS time will be different! Because ... reasons!
This is how it ended in Berlin. pic.twitter.com/nG9rT2yMui
— Tim Freiheit (@TDrygala) January 11, 2026
Well, at least there's a rainbow. That's the important thing.
It's how we know the bathroom isn't transphobic.
It's gonna be worse than when Giuliani first got elected isn't it.
— Jules! (@sparkly_jules1) January 11, 2026
The city that Rudy Giuliani took over in 1993 really WILL look like a paradise compared to the one Mamdani is about to create.
— Jeff Graham (@GmagicBYU) January 11, 2026
This is patently obvious.
But we suppose we can understand Mamdani wanting to change the subject from his absolute nightmare of a tenant director, Cea Weaver.
"Toilets for everybody" https://t.co/4EdjoEd8PN
— Change is Good (@ChangeGood2) January 11, 2026
That'll be a great new slogan for the city.
And the mayor may have earned himself a new nickname to go along with 'Commie Mamdani' and 'Mamdy Gump.'
Porta-Potty Prince of New York! https://t.co/agvlrjB4dX
— James Woods (@RealJamesWoods) January 11, 2026
HA.
We love James Woods.
Good luck, New Yorkers. You're going to need it.
And you might want to consider avoiding the Hepatitis C incubators that your mayor is about to install all over the city.
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Editor's Note: Zohran Mamdani is an avowed Democratic Socialist and the mayor of New York City.
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