Like chestnuts roasting on an open fire, trimming the tree, and playing Whamageddon with 'Last Christmas,' there are some things we can count on every December
Unfortunately, one of them is miserable scold Neil deGrasse Tyson trying to put the 'Bah, Humbug' on everyone else's Yuletide joy.
We're not sure why Christmas triggers Tyson so much, but every year, without fail, he reminds us how much he hates the holiday and wants everyone else to be as broken as he is.
In previous years, he has argued that Rudolph is 'misgendered,' that Santa Claus couldn't possibly visit all of those homes in one night, and declared that Christmas really is just another day of the week to non-Christians.
We can't imagine the lump of coal he must have gotten in his stocking some past year to make him so bitter.
This year, Tyson decided that he is very concerned about Santa's health, so he wanted everyone to put out some tea and crudités in place of the traditional milk and cookies.
If people left Hot Tea, Carrots, and Celery for Santa on the table rather than Milk & Cookies on Christmas Eve, I bet he’d be much, much, thinner. pic.twitter.com/UzBcHMWEXI
— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 24, 2025
Oh, for crying out loud.
By the way, before trying to get Kris Kringle to drop a few pounds, Tyson might want to take a look in the mirror. Swallowing all that resentment hasn't exactly made him svelte.
Astrophysicist, heal thyself. https://t.co/ei96vVFAPe pic.twitter.com/CbPKFVv62R
— Captain Kahuna 🤙🏽 (@Captain_Kahuna) December 25, 2025
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Being a jolly old elf with a belly that shakes like a bowlful of jelly is part of Santa's charm.
But no one ever wrote a poem about an overweight (alleged) scientist who thinks men can become women.
STFU https://t.co/PdbkgZrcpe pic.twitter.com/csuNTJKBh2
— Lizzy Lou Who ❄️ (@_wintergirl93) December 25, 2025
Just for one year. Give it a try.
As one online sleuth figured out, this isn't even the first time Tyson has tried to ruin Santa's enjoyment of cookies. He actually recycled this year's awful post from 2015.
imagine working on this cringe bit for a full decade https://t.co/nUpNLqmdRq pic.twitter.com/HRfLsbL7oi
— Matt Bramanti (@mattbramanti) December 25, 2025
Now, that IS sad.
I bet if you actually went outside and conversed with people, you might not be an insufferable t**t, but here we are
— SarahBeara (@SarahTheBanned) December 25, 2025
Are you paid to make EVERYTHING cringe?
— Dago Supremacy (@DagoSupremacy) December 25, 2025
Unlike the Krassensteins, we're pretty sure cringe engagement bait is NOT Tyson's job.
But he sure acts like it is. He's also tried to ruin the fun of Star Wars (before Disney took care of that for him).
they should waterboard you at gitmo https://t.co/SN0BEdbY6X
— doomer (@uncledoomer) December 25, 2025
OK, that seems a bit harsh bit you know what they say. Tough times call for tough measures.
And it's technically not waterboarding if we use eggnog.
You want to get throat punched by Santa? https://t.co/0ohazSO7WV
— Johnny Utah (@JohnnyU2019) December 25, 2025
Because this is how you get ... well, you know the rest.
Anyone who gives me a cup of tea like this will disappear in the prairies as coyote food.
— Montana Rodes (@MontanaRodes) December 25, 2025
Seriously. This is disgusting. https://t.co/vUXyIebkhK
Seriously. Why does it look like someone's already drank half of that cuppa?
Santa sees that - pic.twitter.com/Jbc2PLn1iH
— Mike Raz (@MikeRazz1988) December 24, 2025
Get him, St. Nick!
First you misgender Rudolph and now you’re fat shaming. You’re determined to ruin all of our holiday joy, aren’t you? What’s next? Bunnies can’t actually lay eggs?
— Gringo El Camino (@GringoElCamino) December 25, 2025
Please, do not give him any ideas.
Didn't you tell people to take an experimental vaccine of which the side effects were unknown?
— Stevie Renee ☠️ (@StevieRenee3) December 25, 2025
I'm leaving Santa every damn cookie in my house.
Oh, yeah. There was that, too. Along with the countless other times he's been arrogantly wrong.
— Eddie Ki Yay! (@TarHeeled67) December 25, 2025
He can't. He simply can't.
Which says SO much more about him than it does about the people he incessantly tries to scold.
If it were anyone else who posted this, we could chalk it up to being a bad joke. But we know Tyson too well. He really does just want to spread misery on Christmas.
This is obviously the cheapest form of engagement w*****g, but JFC this guy is just bound and determined to be one of the most insufferable human beings on Earth.
— Shooting News Weekly (@SN_Weekly_) December 25, 2025
Merry Christmas, though, to everyone, even to him. Because even annoying a-holes deserve a merry Christmas.
As this writer wrote earlier today, one thing we can always be grateful for is that we are not like the left.
And we can be especially grateful that we are not like Neil deGrasse Tyson.
So, we will wish him a merry Christmas.
Which will probably just make him mad and post another cringe tweet about the holiday.
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