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Slow News Day: The Hill Reports That Adam Kinzinger Cancels His Paramount Plus Subscription

Fuzzy Chimp

Twas the day before Christmas and all through The Hill 

Zoomer editors were looking to chill. 

The content well was going dry

 and the writers would rather be getting high. 

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They wanted to go home and get theirs gifts wrapped, 

but they were stuck here needing to churn out crap.

This is a real story from a real news organization. As we've mentioned in a few Twitchy pieces, the journalist class is up in arms over CBS News' new editor, Bari Weiss. Looking for any and every opportunity to pounce, they went full-on turned-up-to-eleven hysterical when she delayed a '60 Minutes' piece on the CECOT prison where illegal immigrants are being deported to. Not canceled, postponed for additional verification. This simple act of journalism was enough to get howls of outrage of 'simping for Trump' and accusations of, hilariously enough, bias.

Not to be left out of the festivities, the intrepid hipsters at The Hill joined the fray with the breaking news that Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor the Hindenburg blew up Nixon wiretapped the Watergate hotel Adam Kinzinger canceled his Paramount Plus subscription over Bari Weiss. The article features this shocking quote:

Kinzinger also posted a screenshot of what appeared to be him canceling his subscription through Amazon’s Prime Video.

The Hill has reached out to Paramount for comment.

We're holding our breath for Paramount's response. Twitter was aghast as well, as you can see from the replies.

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We think LMFAO is code for being in a state of both shock and disbelief.

Seriously, the only reason we're writing about the irrelevant Adam Kinzinger is that The Hill hilariously thought this was newsworthy, either that or their click-bait quota needed a boost (You're welcome).

Besides, if Paramount really cared about revenue, they wouldn't keep pumping out crappy Star Trek spin offs that intentionally drive out long-time true Trekkies, but that's another rant for another time.

Maybe not. It is Christmas eve, after all. This journalist is probably looking for a scoop at the Fairfax mall. We hear that Santa spent the night in the drunk tank but will make it in time for 'Photos with Santa at the North Pole' event.

This seems entirely plausible given that the show is soaked in testosterone.

Sometimes gifs really get to the heart of the matter. A picture, a thousand words and all that.

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Ha ha! It's funny because The Hill is the media. Marc knows this, you know this, we know this, we're not sure The Hill knows this.

Crude, yet perfectly stated.

It's a shame that they value their credibility so little that stuff like this gets published.

If you want to shed what's left of your reputation as a respectable journalistic outlet, what would you do differently?

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