If there was ever a thread on Twitter that screamed the person writing it needs to get a life, it's this thread from a Dr. Thomas Smith, who thought it was a good idea to scold his local pub for having a wood-burning fire.
In December.
Not even kidding.
Look at this hot mess:
So I spent yesterday evening having a quiet night in. At around 11 pm I began to smell smoke *inside my flat*.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
I went out to investigate…
This is a somewhat angry (but evidence-based) wood-burning thread.
*trigger warning* for urban wood-burners!#WoodBurning 🔥💨🧵 [1/n] pic.twitter.com/qrA9FHuu1X
Evidence-based.
Alrighty then.
Note, the 'doctor' did turn replies off to his thread and that tells us everything we need to know.
I live in inner-London (@LBHF). My flat is offset from a road by a building & car park, & gardens on the other side. All my windows & doors were closed. Below an air vent in my bedroom, I measured 34 µg/m3 of PM2.5 (close to unhealthy).
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
So I left my flat to investigate...
[2/n] pic.twitter.com/vUUmi0tYcJ
CLOSE to unhealthy.
Not unhealthy.
You know this guy is a lot of fun to live next to. A joy even.
I had a very good idea where this smoke was coming from. After a short walk upwind from my flat, I headed to the pub on the opposite side of the road from my estate (& not for a pint!) They were burning wood on an open fire. This is illegal (more details below).
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[3/n] pic.twitter.com/0whvJySTi7
OMG! NOT A WOOD-BURNING FIRE! THAT'S ILLEGAL! QUICK, CALL THE COPS!
He continued to scold as all good scolds do:
To start with, it's an offence to emit smoke from a chimney in 'smoke-control areas' (all of @LBHF). Smoke isn't always visible, but this illegal fire was producing obviously thick smoke, billowing from the pub's chimney towards council flats & student housing opposite.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[4/n] pic.twitter.com/opSaDdJlNG
Smoke, FROM A CHIMNEY? THE HORROR.
In front of the council flats & student accommodation, the sensor measured PM2.5 at 60 µg/m3 (unhealthy for everyone, increasing risk of aggravation to the heart & lungs). On the walkway in front of my flat it was 45 µg/m3 (unhealthy for sensitive groups, e.g. asthmatics).
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[5/n] pic.twitter.com/SYaKWXWsMC
What do you wanna bet this guy is still wearing a mask 24/7?
I'd overstayed my welcome in the pub after covertly taking photos & then asking to talk to the manager (who wasn't there), so I couldn't take a reading inside. Outside, a measurement from an air vent to the pub was 72 µg/m3 (unhealthy). It must have been higher inside.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[6/n] pic.twitter.com/ekEffgo7Ig
Yeah, fires feel good and smell good ... especially wood-burning ones. That's why most people enjoy them.
Look at that, his attempt at pulling a Karen failed.
The rules about what you can & cannot burn, & in what appliances, aren't well-communicated. However, once you find them, both @DefraUKAir & the council's websites state that wood must be burned in 'exempt appliances' (e.g. a Defra-approved log burner), not on open fires.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[7/n] pic.twitter.com/3w2gConYR5
And there we have the rules.
Gosh, thanks, Karen.
The open fire in this pub emits ~4,000x more PM2.5 than a gas boiler (per MWh energy produced), equivalent to almost every dwelling (4,910) in my council Ward (Ravenscourt Park) & 22x more polluting than the 180 gas-heated flats on my estate *combined* (downwind today).
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[8/n] pic.twitter.com/aot1RqpdQ2
Holy Hell.
He was so annoyed at merely smelling smoke (that was not at an unhealthy level even by his annoying little machine) that he got on Twitter to write a thread about it and SHOW THE RULES ...
Again, a total JOY of a neighbor.
I will be complaining to the @LBHF Air Quality Team, my local councillors (@lizcollins777 & @walshpatrick95), & my MP @andyslaughtermp (AGAIN). *Again*, because this is not the first time that I've complained about the pub (see this email from February, this year).
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[9/n] pic.twitter.com/LRoLgvD54c
So tough.
Complaining to the Air Quality Team ... AGAIN. Oh look, he's gone after this pub before.
What a tool.
I know it's the festive season & I don't want to be a Grinch, but the height of the chimney is below that of the housing opposite. In the flat above me is a toddler with asthma, & the people working in the pub will have chronic exposure to a known carcinogen.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[10/n] pic.twitter.com/RBrcLW4Oty
He's not a grinch.
He's an a-hole.
Big difference.
Domestic wood burning accounted for 25% of UK PM2.5 emissions in 2020. This has increased by 35% between 2010 & 2020. It is now the single-biggest source of small particle air pollution in the UK, exceeding that of road traffic.https://t.co/0ueRI1Pmr0
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[11/n]
Yup, he's still going.
Some technical details: The sensor I'm using is pretty accurate according to a comparison with regulatory-compliant monitoring equipment (I'm a co-author on this open-access paper led by @DrKrisChan in which we evaluate the sensor hardware):https://t.co/QovAAWRKQE
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
[12/n]
*yawn*
This table helps to compare the measurements on my device in the photos (in micrograms of PM2.5 per cubic metre, µg/m3) with the US Air Quality Index & associated health risks. *There is no safe level of PM2.5*, hence my concern for the 34 µg/m3 in my flat.
— Dr Thomas Smith 🔥🌏 (@DrTELS) December 3, 2023
Source: @IQAir
[13/n] pic.twitter.com/u3QofhriKs
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Ok, so there are several more tweets in this unbearable, virtue-signaling dumpster fire of a thread but even we have our limits.
OMG they are carrying little meters around now like you people were not intolerable enough already
— F.L.J. Valentine (@dskzyll) December 3, 2023
Intolerable is putting it nicely.
I can't imagine being this miserable.
— Left Brained Ham Sandwich (@uhohspag00) December 4, 2023
Most people who are this miserable want everyone else around them to be miserable too.
Clearly.
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Editor's Note: Hi there. I know it's been some time since we changed this up but changing it up now to see if any of you read this far. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? ALSO, if you are reading this far please sign up for Twitchy VIP and help us continue bringing you the truth, especially the truth Biden and his Big Tech goons don't want us sharing.
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