As part of the rescue mission to bring home a downed pilot that we learned about on Easter morning, US forces actually established a temporary forward operating base INSIDE Iran. Read that again. We set up an FOB within an enemy country from which to coordinate rescue operations. Yet, somehow, media hacks who hate America will still claim that the US is losing the war.
As was widely reported, during the rescue, a few of the aircraft at the base got stuck there. Because the operation was expertly planned, backup planes and helicopters were available to fly into the FOB and pick up American special forces as well as the pilot. To keep the damaged aircraft (one or possibly two C-130s and a Little Bird helicopter) from falling into IRGC hands, the military spiked the damaged aircraft.
Images from the destroyed FOB began to surface on X yesterday afternoon.
Appears that U.S. forces also destroyed at least one MH-6 Little Bird helicopter left behind at the forward base in Iran. https://t.co/WRBj5VI5v7 pic.twitter.com/xbiD3Zw46y
— OSINTtechnical (@Osinttechnical) April 5, 2026
Obviously, the life of our pilot is more important than any equipment. While we leave no man behind, it's an obvious and standard practice to destroy any equipment left behind so that it can't be used as propaganda, nor can any technology of value be retrieved. (Unless you are the Biden administration, in which case, you leave behind fully functional weapons, vehicles, and aircraft for the Taliban.)
Hilariously, however, Iranian state media began posting images of IRGC soldiers searching through the wreckage like jackals. The images unfortunately revealed that the US did, in fact, leave something valuable behind for them to find.
Holy Macho Man Randy Savage, Batman! They got one of our Slim Jims!
Iranian forces managed to capture an MRE teriyaki beef stick at the American forward base in Isfahan. https://t.co/IAdwsuICdc pic.twitter.com/bhTrPzUN4S
— OSINTtechnical (@Osinttechnical) April 5, 2026
And teriyaki flavored no less! Imagine what they will do with this advanced technology!
Sir, the Teriyaki Beef Stick has fallen into enemy hands. https://t.co/TGOynqa1dH pic.twitter.com/HpZWkNZvUF
— cappel (@cappel_one) April 6, 2026
Immediately, responses began to flow in about how Iran and the corrupt legacy media in America would frame this asset capture.
Another crushing blow dealt to the imperialist aggressor. In a single stroke the Iranians have closed the teriyaki beef stick gap and will soon establish dominance. https://t.co/KFWNusASjl
— Strategic Trends (@StrategicTrends) April 5, 2026
Allahu Snackbar!
OH S*** CALL CNN!! https://t.co/2cBWexJXQn
— Kron (@Kronykal) April 6, 2026
Jake Tapper, like Walter Cronkite decades before him, has now declared the war unwinnable.
Iran is winning because they captured an off-brand Slim Jim.
— Mike Coté (@ratlpolicy) April 6, 2026
This will be a take in the New York Times by Wednesday. https://t.co/a4tr7qwrGD
Wednesday? We'd be shocked if Thomas Friedman hasn't published a lengthy op-ed to this effect already.
It's over for us. Our best military secret, beef sticks have been revealed to the IRGC.
— Spartan Intel (@Spartan_Intel) April 5, 2026
This will be the end of the Trump administration.
An indelible image, etched into the annals of history, just like the helicopter on the roof of the Pittman Building during the fall of Saigon.
I can’t wait to read the 5,000 Twitter military experts explaining how losing a Slim Jim is a sign the war is lost and the American empire is in decline
— Gary (@garyfromsloan) April 6, 2026
'Comic' Dave Smith has already recorded a six-hour podcast about it.
Chinese will have this reverse engineered in a month. https://t.co/hdmDNHkibD
— HolzXI (@holz_xi) April 6, 2026
American beef snack dominance will soon be replaced by Temu versions made from pangolins.
Of course, many also took the time to mourn the tragic loss.
RIP to a great American Hero. pic.twitter.com/CIWo5kKwvo
— CJ (@CasualArtyFan) April 5, 2026
Fly all flags at half staff for the rest of the week.
Rest now, brother. We have the watch, and we’ll see you in Valhalla. pic.twitter.com/BE873fOKal
— Tater Tots McGee (@tatertotsconor) April 6, 2026
We will never forget this brave beef snack, its service, or its sacrifice.
Just lucky it wasn’t one of these or it’d be a War Crime. pic.twitter.com/2y9RgbFK4g
— Richard Edinger (@RichardEdinger) April 6, 2026
Whew! Talk about destroying the enemy from within!
Meanwhile, videos of IRGC soldiers celebrating this tremendous victory also began to surface.
— 0x42 (@x0x42) April 6, 2026
[Editor's Note: This is not an IRGC soldier. Shame on Calvin. Tusken Raiders are not terrorists like the IRGC. They are a peaceful, desert-dwelling, nomadic people, no matter what the war criminal Anakin Skywalker says about them.]
On the other hand, maybe our special forces left the beef stick behind intentionally, as part of a larger mission.
One second after taking a bite. pic.twitter.com/N5G5wMP5rP
— Chuck (@Charleyj88) April 5, 2026
Well, it was made of beef, not pork, so it's possible. (Though we're not sure whether this particular MRE is Halal-certified.)
That is the persuasive, all-American power contained within a single Slim Jim.
Ohhhhhhh, yeah!
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