Are y'all tired of reading about the Subway sandwich-slinging seditionist yet?
Good, because we're not tired of writing about him.
By now, of course, we all know the details. Some paralegal who worked for the DOJ thought it would be a brilliant idea to hurl his hoagie at federal agents. In what might be one of the stupiest games of FAFO we've witnessed in recent years, that employee has now been dismissed, arrested, and hit with felony charges for assaulting federal agents.
But just because we all know about the story doesn't mean we have to stop having fun at his expense.
Today, for example, the X account of the Department of Justice did its best Donald Trump impersonation from The Apprentice, telling this former DOJ staffer all about the state of his employment.
YOU’RE FIRED pic.twitter.com/9nR91QIth6
— U.S. Department of Justice (@TheJusticeDept) August 15, 2025
Boom, there it is. The boss would be so proud.
https://t.co/dFk4SRU5NN pic.twitter.com/brpoc9tS0Y
— ploppity plop (@supercalifrag33) August 15, 2025
Adios. Sayonara. Auf Wiedersehen. Don't bother collecting your things. They'll be sent to you ... maybe.
And he isn't even going to get a tearful farewell parade like all of those cashiered State Department employees in July.
It's not Chariots of Fire, @Gordon_Kushner, but I hope this will suffice. pic.twitter.com/WeCtEJLZRj
— Grateful Calvin (@shoveitjack) July 12, 2025
(This writer apologizes for including his own post, but it's a really beautiful song.)
That's too bad for him. With any luck, though, the former DOJer (whose name is Sean Charles Dunn) will have plenty of time to reflect on his heinous crimes against sandwiches in prison.
FAFO! Whoever is running these social media accounts needs a raise 🤣 https://t.co/58sQ3FcqE2
— Sippi Cup (@sippicup2) August 15, 2025
Recommended
They need a BIG raise. Last night, the person running the X account of The White House also posted a hilarious pixel art video of deportation flights taking off over and over.
The DOJ account must have seen that one and decided to step up its game accordingly.
Clearly, these social media teams know what will trigger unhinged leftist outrage. The DOJ post did exactly that, which, of course, only makes the post even funnier.
How about this one? https://t.co/3diqtW8Jdd pic.twitter.com/83a4FYXk93
— Brett Bruen (@BrettBruen) August 15, 2025
Aww. Look at the poor Obama staffer.
Bruen can't deal with the fact that the administration he worked for has been completely rejected in 2025, so he has to go back to the tired, dried-up well of January 6.
Oh boy, you arrested a guy who threw a sandwich. My tax dollars hard at work. https://t.co/GZacsg4NE5
— Curious Ape (@2Bcancelled) August 15, 2025
This person must prefer that his tax dollars go to transing children and putting illegal immigrants up in luxury New York hotels.
Thats real professional of this twitter account. How bout the soldiers don’t be scared of a sub sandwich. https://t.co/uxYUBd9gUP
— Shaheed Shabazz (@HennyHardaway75) August 15, 2025
We'll put it in terms that poster can understand:
'Don't start none, won't be none.'
Democrats and their zionist global collaborators all all members of the .......:....;killuminati........_....:...a worldwide criminal network mafia and must be treated as such! Thank you for your attention to this matter! https://t.co/oHmS4Y25dU
— Liam Ben David (@BostonJaw3031) August 15, 2025
Uhhh ... wut? Yikes.
So, we're just going to back away slowly from that deranged person. No loud noises or sudden movements.
The lunatic left aside, lots of people had fun with the fact that the DOJ knows how to have fun on social media, while also getting the job done.
That foot long cost him more than 5 dollars! https://t.co/Zz0BTtQuwd
— First Amendment Mike (@1AmendmentMike) August 15, 2025
Some Subway franchise owner in Washington, DC, has the chance to run the funniest promotion EVER.
FAFO: Footlonged Around and Found Out. pic.twitter.com/RG7ecJAWp0
— I Love America News (@ILA_NewsX) August 15, 2025
HA!
If he gets the joy of going to prison for the felony charge... he's gonna find out what "eat fresh" means on the inside!!
— Karmaggedon (@KarmaIsThyName) August 15, 2025
Prepare for the Man Meat in Prison, dude!!! Lol https://t.co/3AQ9IiYrXN
Eep.
Don't drop the soap.
I love this administration
— Whale Psychiatrist ™️ (@k_ovfefe2) August 15, 2025
Right?
We voted for all of these policies, sure, but we didn't know that our vote also meant endless entertainment at the expense of the left.
I love that YOU are posting this 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Best sense of humor of ALL Presidential admins. You know this guy was likely working against Trump from the inside anyway. Good riddance. And he ran like a girl.
— The Squirrel Whisperer (@RogerTodger4) August 15, 2025
That might have been the worst crime of all.
— Immortal Patriot (@BasedImmortal) August 15, 2025
'Was,' as in his career is as dead as a Monty Python parrot.
He shoved his career in that sandwich and jettisoned it.
— Presidente Pepe (@dailypepedotcom) August 15, 2025
Yeeted it into oblivion.
twitter intern is GOATED 😂🐐
— Nicky (@Nitric__) August 15, 2025
We can't wait to see what the DHS X account comes up with to follow this.
🤣🤣🤣🤣 What a time to be an American. 🫡🇺🇸👏👏👏👏 https://t.co/Qfo3tWyAMD
— Gulf of America maximalist (MM) (@MMsince2015) August 15, 2025
You can say that again!
We're not even fully into the 'Golden Age' yet. We're just six months along in this administration.
If the X accounts of The White House, DOJ, DHS, and other federal agencies can make winning this much fun (and send the left into shame spirals and temper tantrums while they're at it), the next three and a half years are going to be EPIC.
Buckle up.
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