Welcome to this week's edition of 'We Are SO Glad We Live In America and Not There.'
Our honorary country for this episode is ... the United Kingdom.
Oh, sure, there are plenty of reasons not to live in the UK. They put people in jail for mean tweets, they encourage kids to rat on their families and friends for 'misinformation,' and then, of course, there are the groomer gangs.
Also, they don't know how to spell words like 'color' and 'labor' properly.
Of all the reasons we are proud to be Americans and not Brits, however, we never thought that NOT putting yogurt on our windows would be one of them.
“Dr Ben Roberts, a senior lecturer in healthy buildings at Loughborough University, said applying yoghurt to the outside of windows can lower the temperature by up to 3.5C.”
— Philip Proudfoot (@PhilipProudfoot) July 14, 2025
If it reaches 30c British people go fully insane pic.twitter.com/h2L7749xW9
OK, first of all, see what we mean about the spelling? The word is spelled 'yogurt.' There's no silly H in there.
Secondly, WTF???
We thought this must be a parody 'study,' but no. It's real. The BBC even reported on the Brits' new 'cultured' cooling system.
He said: 'We can't get houses to cool down during the day.
'That's a real problem for a lot of people, so we've started to look at shading solutions, stopping sun getting into your house during the day.'
In May, Dr Roberts and PhD student Niloo Todeh-Kharman conducted an experiment on two identical test houses at Loughborough University by putting yoghurt on the windows of one, but not the other.
The experiment found the indoor temperature of the house with yoghurt on the windows was on average 0.6C cooler, but up to a maximum of 3.5C cooler when it was 'hot and sunny.'
According to Dr Roberts, the yoghurt forms a thin film on the window itself and reflects some of the incoming solar radiation as it is a light colour.
He told the BBC the yoghurt smells for '30 seconds when drying' but that as soon as it has dried "the smell disappears".
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Umm ... how about shades? Have the British heard of shades? Or shutters?
We know they haven't heard of air conditioning.
Let me see...do I want to put yogurt on the outside of the 4th floor windows, or hang curtains or blinds INSIDE the windows? https://t.co/lDPDGU8mCr
— TugboatPhil - American Boomer (@TugboatPhil) July 14, 2025
We're pretty sure curtains don't smell at all, not even for 30 seconds.
Unless someone spills those gross mushy peas on them.
Click HERE for one weird trick on how to get calcified yogurt off of your windows https://t.co/lRvMqbaSzW
— Morgan Rhinegelt (@rhinegelt) July 14, 2025
Oddly, the experiment didn't provide any solutions for getting crusty, dried yogurt OFF your windows.
That might require a separate study.
Oi! You there! Wots all this then!?
— G Rooster✝🐔✡ (@GuatemalanGallo) July 14, 2025
Ya got a loicense for that yogurt? https://t.co/8y8pKy7yz7
The police will only arrest you for yogurt on your windows if you write a prayer or a Star of David on it with your finger.
Pro tip to the Brits: home window tint is a thing. There’s a ton of it here in the hotter US states. You get the same cooling effect without the fetid, fermented milk. https://t.co/ZOwtfWJHvr pic.twitter.com/rDB7EzTzYd
— Anne (@docboogie) July 14, 2025
Hey, now. Slow down. Let's not get too advanced. We're pretty sure the U.K. just discovered email a few months ago.
Brits will do anything but buy a mini split https://t.co/rEJ8Pht2Ua
— Enguerrand VII de Coucy (@ingelramdecoucy) July 14, 2025
It goes without saying that air conditioning units are a foreign concept to Europeans. That's why the U.S. had to send over our own units for our athletes in the Paris Olympics.
Great britain ruled the world, now instead of building nuclear power plants and buying air conditioners they are spreading yogurt on their windows. https://t.co/iV2WNptnDF
— Momster (@Utahopia) July 14, 2025
A broken husk of a former empire. We can't help but be proud of the fact that we helped them on their road to ruin nearly 250 years ago.
How much of this Euro climate derangement is due to the fact that their grids and power generation is found wanting...so they turn to military grade unhinged cope like this? Allowing normalization of ACs will lead to complete breakdown of their grids 🤷♂️
— Reyaa (@snr_boost) July 14, 2025
This spring, Spain proudly boasted about going 100 percent renewable. Then, six days later, they had to declare a state of emergency when a massive blackout caused millions to lose power.
But sure. Yogurt is the answer.
The UK can’t be a real country https://t.co/iIV9GYCDez
— (K)Dubbs ChonkyBoiCap 💰🏀 (@kdubbsy) July 14, 2025
I still can’t believe more Europeans die in the heat than Americans from guns and they have the gall to criticize us while putting yogurt on their windows https://t.co/3EDMKeqj06
— Aetius (@AetiusRF) July 14, 2025
As if we care what their opinions of us are. We're too busy being cool in the summer to care.
Also, we have ice cubes.
Brits love to mock Americans, then turn around and smear YOGURT on their windows to beat the heat.
— Sour Patch Lyds ن (@sourpatchlyds) July 14, 2025
Yogurt.
On the windows.
Absolute caveman behavior. https://t.co/DQ0aPi86oQ
We could probably conquer the entire nation with some Otter Pops and a few battery-powered mini-fans.
Drat, we’ve been lacquering on layers of HP sauce all summer like IDIOTS. https://t.co/WPfDBnAbJR
— joe wertz (@joewertz) July 14, 2025
HA!
(That HP sauce is pretty tasty, though. We'll give them that. Colman's mustard too.)
Which flavour works best?
— Gordon Ronald 🔰 (@Snorbensronnie) July 14, 2025
These are the important questions we demand answers to. Hopefully, it's raspberry.
What is happening on that silly little island?! 😂
— To-B (@To_B_V) July 14, 2025
If only the fellas from Monty Python were still who they once were, and not the angry old cranks they've become.
They would have had a field day with this back in their heyday.
You do get that humanity solved this over 100 years ago right?
— Dan-tom of the Opera (@Libertybibbledy) July 14, 2025
This is clearly a lie by big yogurt!
— The Wasatchquatch (@waschatchsquach) July 14, 2025
That's it! Yoplait is planning on taking over!
That is so uncultured.
— Gregory Gravett (@gregorycgravett) July 14, 2025
Ba-ZING!
Bear in mind, the Brits are coming up with these crazy ideas because of a summer 'heat wave' where temperatures have been in the 80s. (In other words, just summer.)
They wouldn't survive a day in the Texas summer heat. Not even with gallons of yogurt.
But at least they might be able to eat some decent food for the first time ever.
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