California’s getting serious about cracking down on plastic straws.

But when straws are outlawed, only outlaws will have straws. And we have no doubt they’ll use them for something terrifying.

Terrifying like this:

Dude.

Think that’s scary? It actually gets even scarier:

Dear God.

Parting exit question:

***

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‘Annnnnd I’m dead’! USA Today’s ‘chainsaw bayonet’ clarification is ‘an instant classic’

If you thought @USATODAY’s ‘chainsaw bayonet’ was terrifying, check out these other #PossibleModifications

Someone tell USA Today the chainsaw bayonet attachment is real and it’s spectacular [photo]