It's happening! IT'S ALL HAPPENING!

A beacon of conservatism, a true pillar of the conservative community, a conservative voice AMONG conservatives ... David French is coming to write for his very favorite outlet of all time, his bae, Twitchy. Awwww yes, he has long admired our snarky little aggregate, hiding it behind snobbery and complaining about how mean we are. Heck, he once even implied one of our editors is a bully.

US?! OUR editors!? BULLIES?!

Never.

Well, now we know that it was just French wishing he could be part of the cool kid's table all along - he just wants to go where everybody knows his name. Who knew? So, having discovered this little nugget of amazing, we reached out and LO AND BEHOLD, he can't wait to be a Twitchy freelancer! He even cried a small tear of pure joy when we agreed to his becoming a Twitchy-ite.

No one was more shocked than me! https://t.co/XFFVH8yfLG pic.twitter.com/p1s21v5aeh

— Dave Gordon 🇺🇸 🇮🇱 (@D_Gordzo) April 1, 2024

We can't wait to see his brand of smug, finger-waving, judgy conservatism right here in the 'pages' of Twitchy. Hopefully, he'll be able to work with our brand of headlines when he's shaming Christians and harassing Republicans who refuse to vote for Biden. Awwww, yes, it will be glorious, GLORIOUS we tell you! 

The New York Times will probably not be thrilled with his decision, but who can blame French? Would you rather write for us or The New York Times? RIGHT? RIGHT!

Oh, and FYI ... 

APRIL FOOLS!

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Editor's Note: Hi there. I know it's been some time since we changed this up but changing it up now to see if any of you read this far. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Also, if you are reading this far please sign up for Twitchy VIP and help us continue bringing you the truth, especially the truth Biden and his Big Tech goons don't want us sharing.