It all started here, with some bizarre and even threatening posts from journo-loser Ben Collins to Elon Musk.
I am at MOMA. @elonmusk, respond to my email. You have roughly 16 hours. pic.twitter.com/L1Ne58pNek
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) September 14, 2023
Da da DAAAA!
What happens after 16 hours?
FYI, it's officially been more than 16 hours, just sayin'.
Proof, btw. pic.twitter.com/lcCPF7SeYI
— Ben Collins (@oneunderscore__) September 14, 2023
What a freakin' weird post from an equally freakin' weird person.
genuinely have a hard time comprehending this level of entitlement. on what planet does the world’s richest man *have to respond* to an email from a political fan fic writer? ben this is really embarrassing don’t post stuff like this! pic.twitter.com/pkkoCZt9kj
— Mike Solana (@micsolana) September 14, 2023
Iowahawk took some time out of his day being brilliant about other things to thoroughly and completely humiliate Ben Collins for his threatening posts and as usual, it's pretty damn glorious.
Dear Wealthiest Person on Planet Earth: respond to my email immediately or be prepared to suffer the unimaginable consequences https://t.co/rVX7Y14JhG
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Right? But wait, there's more.
SOOOO much more:
I am at MOMA. Did you hear me, motherf**ker? MOMA. You better get back to me before I start browsing the gift shop, or there will be HELL to pay
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Well, apparently you chose to deliberately ignore my repeated warnings, because now I'm in line for the cashier at the MoMA gift shop, with my Roy Lichtenstein jigsaw puzzle, with no email updates. I assume because bad cell coverage so I will extend your deadline 1 hour.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
I'm not sure what's up with this MoMA gift shop line, and why they can't open another register, but I guess I can extend your deadline another 30 minutes. But THAT'S IT.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Next stop: NBC News Studios to film my devastating exposé of your unresponsiveness to me.
Tick Tock, Elon.
Yeah, TICK TOCK.
As long as I'm in line maybe I'll just grab a couple of these Andy Warhol calendars and this miniature Eames chair, as gifts for my many many close friends who are in powerful media positions.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Get ready to reap the whirlwind for your continued insolence, Elon.
Update: I've checked out, and now I'm walking back to 30 Rock. I've got 4 bars on my phone and STILL no email, Elon Musk. Wow, did you ever choose unwisely.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
But first, a quick nosh from an authentic two-fisted New York street dog cart, for the energy I need for the news segment
We told you this is spectacular.
Keep going, trust us.
Lucky for Elon Musk, the hot dog cart is next to a souvenir shop with a 3-for-price-of-2 sale so I may be delayed a few minutes to some more gift shopping for my powerful media friends.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Update: I had a hard time deciding between the "I❤️NY" shirts and the John Lennon style "New York City" shirts, so I got a half dozen of each and some key rings and will let my powerful friends pick their favorites.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
And NOW to the studio.
Son of a BITCH I don't know what was in that hot dog, but goddamn if I don't find a toilet quick I am in trouble.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
My devastating report will be delayed for a while until I locate a clean public restroom in Midtown.
Then you will RUE THE DAY, Elon Musk.
YOU WILL RUE THE DAY.
EL OH EL!
Is there not a Duane Reade in this town with a public toilet? Cripes, luckily I was able to wedge myself behind some construction scaffold plywood for privacy.
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Long story short, I had to use 4 of the gift t-shirts to clean up, so I'll have to make another gift shop stop
Oh great. Now I'm wedged behind scaffolding plywood in a crouch with my pants down, in the dark, and I can't stand up. I think I'm on 50th between 6th and 7th, but it might be 51st. If you're one of my powerful media friends please call the NYPD so I can file my Musk report
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Ummm.
We don't really want to know.
Update: I didn't know Twitter (or "X" as idiot non-responder to my emails Elon Musk wants to call it) uses up so much battery, but I'm down to 2% so this may be my last update until I'm rescued from this goddamn plywood prison
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Also I missed my report deadline so I'm giving Elon Musk another 24 hours to email me back. And I expect him to apolog
— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) September 14, 2023
Annnd NOW we're dead.
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