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Biting Babies Not Included: The Hill Wants Us to Remember Biden's Five Greatest Achievements

AP Photo/Ben Curtis

The clock is ticking but not nearly fast enough. Though he has never actually been in charge, in 21 days, Joe Biden will officially no longer be the President of the United States. 

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(And there was much rejoicing.)

But before he departs this mortal coil ... oops. Sorry, that's Jimmy Carter. Before Biden exits stage far-left for a nursing home in Scranton, the dead legacy media would like to do its damnedest to make sure he is not remembered for what he is: the worst president in modern American history. (Hey, at least now, Carter won't have to carry that burden into eternity with him.) 

Yesterday, The Hill's Brett Samuels wrote about Biden's five greatest accomplishments and tried to pretend that the Biden White House was touting them, even though it was actually him raising his pom-poms high in the air. 

Only five? But Nancy Pelosi said he should be on Mt. Rushmore. Surely his media lapdogs could come up with at least 10 for such high honors. 

President Biden has used his final weeks in office in part to remind voters of some of his more significant accomplishments during his four years in the White House.

While Biden’s presidency has been somewhat overshadowed by the way he dropped out of the 2024 race and President-elect Trump’s subsequent Election Day victory, there were still a number of achievements that the president and his team have highlighted that they argue will endure even after Biden leaves office.

SOMEWHAT overshadowed? The reason Biden dropped out -- his mental decline -- was the defining aspect of his entire presidency and the biggest story that the media gleefully covered up.

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We won't make you wade through all of the tripe in the article, so here is the Cliff's Notes version of those five signature achievements:

1. Navigating the pandemic
2. Bipartisan bills
3. Ketanji Brown Jackson
4. Student loans
5. The economy

We'll give you a minute to stop laughing at all five of those. 

Biden botched the pandemic as badly as he botched Afghanistan. The bills mentioned destroyed Americans' wallets. Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn't know what a woman is. The Supreme Court ruled against student loan forgiveness (and Biden flawlessly ignored them). 

And the economy? THE ECONOMY? Including that on the list is an insult to every citizen, all of whom are paying thousands of dollars more per year -- EVERY year under Biden -- just for necessities.

Sadly, Samuels is not joking. As best we can tell, he wrote this article with a straight face.

And that is why the media died on November 6, 2024

Yep. Exactly that. Repeated about 1,000 times. 

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Hey, don't leave out Medicare. Who can forget Biden triumphantly shouting at his debate with Trump, 'We finally beat Medicare!'

Oh, wait ... Biden. That's who can forget it. Then again, he forgets his own name on most days. 

Right? Where's inflation? Where's Afghanistan? Where's inviting Russia to invade Ukraine? 

Where is pardoning Hunter for everything he's ever done, not to mention pardoning child killers and Chinese spies?

The Hill omitted that one too, along with letting violent criminals and terrorists swarm across our border with no vetting for four years straight. 

We've been onto them for a long time and now, they have no influence left whatsoever. 

We don't think putting a DEI hire who thinks bump stocks can enable rifles to fire 800 rounds per second on the Supreme Court qualifies as an accomplishment, but then again, we're not The Hill. 

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In ancient Egypt, it was not unheard of to write curses or transgressions on the sarcophagi of evildoers. 

We're not saying that Biden should be mummified (he kind of already is anyway) but if he were to be, all five of these 'accomplishments' would be written on his sarcophagus. And many more. 

Now, now. We don't want to be too mean, so we'll give him one accomplishment. Joe Biden absolutely torpedoed Kamala Harris' campaign at every opportunity after she, Pelosi, and Barack Obama defenestrated him. 

We kind of like him for that, if nothing else. 

And there is nothing else. 

As we've said every day since the election, January 20 cannot get here soon enough. 

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