There is a phrase that is popular in certain corners of Twitter that is used when someone just keeps humiliating themselves over and over with zero self-awareness. We will clean the phrase up a little bit for our more sensitive viewers, but you can use your imagination.
That phrase is 'feeding quarters into the groin-punching machine.'
Some of our favorite celebrities do this all the time. George Takei, Mark Hamill, Mark Ruffalo, all the usual suspects.
But maybe no one loves to feed quarters into the groin-punching machine more than America's favorite elderly lesbian aunt, Stephen King. Recently, the world-famous author embarrassed himself online by claiming that Florida was 'banning' his books. In actuality, Florida schools determined that some of King's books -- one of which, we regret to remind readers, features a group sex scene involving 11-year-old children -- were inappropriate to be in elementary school libraries.
Oh, the horror and oppression.
King also likes to pick fights with conservative commentator Dan Bongino ... and always loses. Every time. Yet he keeps doing it.
On Monday, King asked for -- and received -- more punishment when a small Twitter account responded to his lame attack on Donald Trump and J.D. Vance on Memorial Day.
Where has Joe Biden been for the last 16 days?
— Lori Love (@thereallorilove) September 2, 2024
It's a good question, but one which King should have just left alone. Instead, he decided to pick another fight and, like all of the other ones he picks, this was a tremendously bad idea.
Doing his job. https://t.co/jBZoIJ5QYk
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) September 2, 2024
Doing his job? From the beach? Oh, honey. Honey, no.
You can predict what happened next. 'Avalanche,' might be a good comparison. Or perhaps 'tsunami.'
His job: https://t.co/NAjVQzio2s pic.twitter.com/vcH35FRPxx
— Joey Jones (@Johnny_Joey) September 3, 2024
Biden went immediately from the DNC to a vacation in California for a week. Then, to recover from that grueling exercise, he traveled across the country for another week-long beach getaway in Delaware.
Funny, we don't recall seeing that in the job description for POTUS.
Sure thing, Stephen. 😮💨pic.twitter.com/OXbSehdcnc https://t.co/qspJHkMwXG
— Jake13th 🏴☠️ (@JakeThirteenth) September 3, 2024
The great, unanswered question in America right now is, "Who is running the country?' Because it sure as hell isn't Joe Biden.
Must be nice having “vacation” as your job. https://t.co/9izts5BjMK
— Chris Loesch 𝕏 (@ChrisLoesch) September 3, 2024
525 days or 40% of his
— Tired of being politically correct (@USBornNRaised) September 2, 2024
time in office He has been on vacation. pic.twitter.com/kZz1n5UB3X
Really? pic.twitter.com/G3Ua8Dka69
— GOPPouncer (@Mellecon) September 3, 2024
It seems like not only has Biden not been doing his job this summer, but he also hasn't been doing it for several years.
But at least the murder of an American hostage finally got Biden to return to Washington, where he promptly attacked and blamed Israel for the murder instead of Hamas.
So just like Ken, his job is "Beach" pic.twitter.com/79zMKN02W8
— Conrad Hannon (@ConradHannon) September 3, 2024
At least Ken looks alive and not like a revived corpse.
Being comatose on the beach isn’t “doing his job”, Stephen 🫠
— Ty’s Tough Talk🇺🇸🏳️🌈 (@toughtalkty) September 3, 2024
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂gasp….. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/awGt9n7Xuo
— NONBidenary (@KellyLMcCarty) September 2, 2024
And now that Biden has temporarily returned from the beach, his itinerary isn't exactly full.
That senile man doesn’t know what a hard days work looks like. From his itinerary he hasn’t been doing much. #CarbonCows https://t.co/e8v8Vttuh1 pic.twitter.com/SiUwtxaTmo
— ❗️Vote Trudeau/Freeland/NDP Out ❗️🍎 (@MarieMacKinnon) September 3, 2024
Wow. Two campaign speeches for his usurper and then back to the beach.
Sounds like a pretty sweet gig if you can get it.
If you’re referring to his current preferred occupation of vacationing full time, Brandon is indeed doing his job. Quite well, some might say. https://t.co/NcLBovsTSS pic.twitter.com/n2WS2veKhK
— Chels (@ChesterXeet) September 3, 2024
Vacationing and watching illegal aliens invade our country😵💫 pic.twitter.com/KNlbibk3fL
— Steve (@willsmi1) September 3, 2024
HA. Kudos to whoever made that video. It's a perfect encapsulation of the Biden presidency.
There were thousands of replies like all of these, but there were just as many directed at King himself for his sycophancy.
Can't make money off of his books anymore, so he's trying for the Dem influencer position https://t.co/yRG7Alxrc0
— Barely Civilized Barbarian Leather (@Topcat1350) September 4, 2024
You can't argue with King's success as a horror writer, at least earlier in his career. But King's success as a Democrat propagandist is deep in the red figures.
That’s the scariest thing you’ve written in some time Stephen.
— Nick Freitas (@NickJFreitas) September 3, 2024
This is also true. King's more recent works aren't going to be considered classics like Carrie or The Shining.
You know what they say… once a fiction writer, always a fiction writer.
— Angela (@LibsBeCrazy) September 2, 2024
King's tweet was less believable than the premise of a car that gets possessed by the devil.
The level of cognitive dissonance you operate with is gold medal worthy https://t.co/nrinZPSwB8
— Annette (@AnnettegoMeoww) September 4, 2024
Good news. Twitter has awards like that to hand out to King:
You've received the dumbass award of the month on X. https://t.co/G3r2VorXDs pic.twitter.com/qayfJzsubB
— John Gewarges 🇺🇸✝️🙏 (@JohnGx1) September 3, 2024
Pffffft. pic.twitter.com/GM0SBxL7Rg
— Phoeni𝕏 2A 🇺🇸 (@Phoenix2A_1980s) September 2, 2024
Hey! This writer made that video. It's nice to see it getting plenty of use on Twitter.
exactly, like having a ghostwriter and then doing the marketing for the books you didn’t write occasionally
— Shibetoshi Nakamoto (@BillyM2k) September 3, 2024
OUCH. That one hits hard.
What a 💩 head https://t.co/SVLRwYjaUC
— Amy Limoges (@justMAGAplease) September 2, 2024
We're not sure if that is directed at Biden or King, so we're going to go ahead and embrace the power of 'AND.'
How embarrassing for you
— Kenny Webster (@KennethRWebster) September 3, 2024
As we said above, King is used to it by now.
We're not sure why he keeps doing this. It's not like he needs the ad revenue money from Elon Musk for the dragging he always gets. He is richer than Croesus.
Maybe he's got a humiliation fetish.
Whatever the case, as long as Stephen King wants to keep feeding quarters into the groin-punching machine, Twitter will be there to oblige him and Twitchy will be there to laugh at him.
Keep going, Steve. You're doing GREAT! LOL.
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