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OH NOOOO ... Anyway: 'No One Is Buying Kathy Griffin Comedy Tour Tickets,' Sobs Kathy Griffin

Twitchy/Meme

It's been a rough go for some lefty (alleged) celebrities lately. Poor Alyssa Milano (net worth $10 million) had to take to social media to ask the little people to help fund her son's Little League trip to Cooperstown, as she drove around town in her $250,000 Porsche. Meanwhile, Taylor Swift is now a meme, Mark Cuban admitted to violating EEOC laws, and Alec Baldwin is facing manslaughter charges ... again.

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Yikes. We don't even want to KNOW what John Cusack has done in the past week (other than continue to hate Jews, that is). 

But perhaps no one is suffering more than Z-list 'celebrity', Kathy Griffin. Yes, it's true. The so-called comedienne who thought it was hilarious to hold up a severed head of Donald Trump is learning the difference between sowing season and reaping season as she attempts to launch a comedy tour. 

Awww. And here we are without our tiny violins. 

From Newsweek

Kathy Griffin has issued a plea for fans to purchase more of her standup comedy tour tickets, as she admitted that some were 'not selling well.'

'Just freaking get me to opening night in Des Moines. And Omaha is not selling well. First of all, there's not enough people there.' [Editor's note: nearly 900,000 people live in the Omaha metro area]. 

'I need comedy fans to come out and see me and Kansas City, come on. I need sell-outs. I've been through hell. I've been through so much crap since my last tour. I actually just have to laugh at it. So please...'

After advising fans on where they can purchase tickets to see her perform, she urged: 'For God's sake, come see me on tour. I'm coming to 40 cities. It's gonna be the Panacea. It's gonna be the thing that gets me through. You guys get me through, you always have.'

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Holy wretched refuse, Batman. Desperation is the world's worst cologne, Kathy. 

And yet, for some strange reason, people on Twitter couldn't summon any sympathy for poor Griffin.

She's not ... she's not funny, folks. Facts are facts. 

We're old enough to remember the time Griffin was on Seinfeld. Where she was singularly unfunny. 

The funny part (unintentionally on Griffin's part) is that the name of her tour is 'My Life on the PTSD List.' Part of that is an attempted play on her former TV series 'My Life on the D-List,' of course, but really it is just a window into the derangement that Griffin has long suffered, mostly because of her irrational, insatiable hatred for Donald Trump. 

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We heard there were still one or two of them. You know, out west. 

If you've ever seen a woke comedian, you know this is true. They're pretty miserable people and they just want to attract other miserable people. Comedian Joe Rogan famously dubbed the response woke comedians look for as not laughter, but 'clapter.' They just want validation, not laughs. 

And that right there is the most laughs Griffin will get on her entire tour ... assuming it's not canceled. 

HA. Carrot Top would be way funnier. But then again, we're talking about a pretty low bar to clear here.  

It's a solid suggestion.

Nope. She never will. Leftists aren't really known for their self-awareness or for self-reflection. 

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The last time we even heard from Griffin at all was when she was mocked on Twitter for posing with fake 'woman' Dylan Mulvaney at a luncheon with several other leftists (including Taylor Lorenz and Rosie O'Donnell). 

Maybe instead of trying a comedy tour, she should stick with being a human punching bag on social media. 

At least that's something she's actually good at. 

***

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