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The Onion Hilariously Weighs in on the Campus Encampments

Fuzzy Chimp

We were intrigued last September when NBC News' Ben Collins, who reported on the "dystopia beat" (i.e., anything he didn't like) said he was thinking about leaving "journalism" at the end of the year. Collins admitted he had "no skills" but knew a change was in order. 

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Collins made the lateral move from writing fake news at NBC to purchasing fake news satire site The Onion. The Onion's first attempt at humor under Collins was to ask everyone to donate $1 or The Onion would disappear forever (promise?). Their next article was pretty gross and didn't quite set off the laugh meter:

Huh?

But The Onion is known for political satire, and right now, you have pro-Hamas students occupying campuses across the country. There's plenty of potential humor there. At UCLA, the protesters accused Zionists of "waving bananas like settlers waving machine guns" after word got out that someone in the encampment had a possibly fatal banana allergy. Now that's funny. 

Then there was a panic when a Zionist infested the encampment with white mice that had been "injected" with something. Some secret IDF virus? A PhD candidate at Columbia studying "theories of the imagination and poetry as interpreted through a Marxian lens" held a press conference begging for food for the occupiers. The opportunity for humor is everywhere. So this is what The Onion went with.

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"Waving bananas like settlers waving machine guns." Come on! The jokes write themselves. Plenty of people used USA TODAY's AR-15 "possible modifications" (like a chainsaw bayonet) graphic to show an AR fitted with a banana. That was funny.

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This is The Onion's new direction under Collins? Even less humor and more progressive scolding? Sounds like a great business model.

Meanwhile, over at The Babylon Bee, they still have a sense of humor:

Seriously, guys, these protests are ripe for satire. Try being funny. It might be difficult, but try.

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