We’ll let you chew on that headline a little bit … it’s a doozy. Last fall, homeschooling mom Bethany Mandel delved into what’s “deeply wrong and deeply sinister in a lot of children’s publishing,” but she also offered an alternative: the “Heroes of Liberty” book series. There are enough conservative books now for kids and young adults that the critics have spotted a trend that needs tamping down. The latest screed comes from Rob Larson courtesy of Current Affairs, entitled, “Get ‘Em While They’re Young.” The Left would never try to get kids while they’re young with books like “Antiracist Baby,” “The GayBCs,” and the pornographic but celebrated “Gender Queer.” Why, just two months ago, the Washington Post was reporting on books and programs to start the “social justice for toddlers” conversation early.

But Larson has it out for the “Heroes of Liberty” series, and he makes this odd conclusion: one day, a kid will read the biography of Justice Amy Coney Barrett without realizing they exist only because Barrett took away their mother’s choice decision ability to pick a family size. Poor kid.

“Reactionary children’s books take their awful place in the wall-to-wall right-wing media lineup…” writes Long:

Let’s start with Justice Barrett. Barrett, of course, is most popularly known for her recent receptiveness to striking down major portions of the Roe v. Wade ruling that legalized abortion for the first trimester of pregnancy. Striking down the ruling would activate various “trigger laws” and related acts enacted in a majority of U.S. states that ban the practice, drastically restricting access to family planning and reproductive health care for millions of women—especially women without the money to travel to a blue state for the procedure. Access to abortion remains widely popular in the U.S., but our limited level of democracy means this need not shape policy.

The Heroes of Liberty book does not trouble its juvenile reader with such unpleasantness. We learn that Barrett works in the Supreme Court, “in a big, white, majestic building,” and “Amy has a very sharp mind. She also has a very big heart: she’s the mother of seven children, two of whom she adopted because they had no home of their own.” We get her life story—big Catholic family, good student, oldest kid driving the little ones around in a LeSabre. Great humanizing detail.

And as Rep. Chip Roy just demonstrated, the House Judiciary Committee won’t let him bother pro-abortion witnesses with such unpleasantness as exactly how an abortion is performed.

Larson is just really triggered by any children’s literature that wouldn’t be selected for Drag Queen Story Time.

“… the existing books are enough to draw the conclusion that the Heroes of Liberty series is an abhorrent enterprise to pack the minds of unsuspecting kids with excremental political brainwashing and to prejudice them against any progressive program of social uplift, from universal health care to closing the racial wealth gap. These godforsaken junior texts are the product of a leviathan of hyper-reactionary dark money and an online ad-buying conservative echo chamber striving to take the candy of social democracy away from the babies of the next generation.”

OK, now, class, take out your copies of “Gender Queer” and turn to the gay oral sex fantasy.