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How Long Has Santa Been Breaking the Law? USDA Grants Santa's Reindeer a Permit to Legally Enter the US

Vesa Moilanen/ Lehtikuva via AP

Christmas time is upon us so of course we need to keep you apprised of the LEGAL issues Santa faces traveling through the United States. It seems the United States Department of Agriculture awarded Santa a special permit this year for the reindeer to pass through the United States LEGALLY. 

If you are like us, you are wondering: HOW LONG HAS SANTA BEEN BREAKING THE LAW!?!?! 

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Great. We love it. Santa has decided to stop his life of crime and seek a permit but why is this just now occurring to the big guy? And do not get us started on Mrs. Clause. She really should have been on top of this. We see her as an accomplice. Now the reindeer are innocent. It is not their fault, they just fly where they are told to fly. 

The reindeer are innocent bystanders in the whole mess. 

Apparently, that is what they have been doing for years without anyone blinking an eye. You can't tell us they did not see the red nose of Rudolph's from miles away. Typical of Biden's administration, they turn a blind eye if it benefits them. We wonder what kind of perks Biden was getting out of allowing the illegal crossings last year.

Hear us out. MAYBE the sentence was not '10% for the big guy' but '10% FROM the Big Guy'. Biden has been getting BRIBES from Santa to get across the United States without a permit and probably all the Presidents before him as well. If Liberals really want to bury Trump they should look into the SANTA CROSSINGS! 

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True. But we honestly think this is a bigger scandal than even Hunter's Laptop. 

OH NO! Santa has carbon emissions problems on top of the illegal crossings! We are completely shocked! Shocked we tell you! If Hollywood does not call out these atrocities they should all have to wear a scarlet A on their fancy private jets as they fly across the world being the hypocrites they are. 

What if Santa has also been a secret spy for CHINA!? Will this nightmare never end? We all think of Santa as this big lovable man who passes out gifts and in reality, he is A CLIMATE CHANGE CAUSING, BRIBE TAKING, ILLEGAL CROSSING, SPY FOR CHINA! 

At this point, If you tell us Santa is smuggling fentanyl across in Rudolph's nose we might believe you. 

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After writing this story we believe Santa has a full-on network to help bribe or break the laws of every single country in the world and the gift-giving is just a front to cover up the drug distribution. 

Sant has no worries about the laws or the rules. He looks at the laws and laughs with his jolly HO HO HO. He smiles and says: 

' Laws and Permits? WE DON'T NEED NO STINKING LAWS OR PERMITS!' Then he pulls out an ASSAULT RIFLE and bellows into the sky 'THIS IS MY LAW AND PERMIT YOU STINKING VERMIN! Catch me if you can! HO HO HO!'

The government? No, they do not work but Santa is a kingpin and he is working ALL OF THE TIME. As for us, well you can see our imagination is always working overtime. 

Happy Holidays Twitchy readers! We hope you get the bribes from Santa that you desire. 

HO HO HO!

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