TRY Not to Laugh! Defund the Police Commie CRYING on X After Hit and Run on His Car Is Just DELISH

Sam J. | 11:50 AM on September 01, 2026

Gosh, it would appear someone hit Alan Vann's car and then ran off.

That's gotta suck.

Oh, and when he's not complaining that the cops aren't doing enough to find the person who did it, he's pushing to defund the police he actually needs now. Almost as if there's a lesson to be learned here, or at least a bit of schadenfreude to point and laugh at.

Heh.

If anyone in Richmond, Va is wondering why their cases aren’t solved (like the hit and run on my car that I have a photo of the guy’s license plate) it’s because our Chief of Police is sitting in the Cary Town ABC store parking lot watching an MMA fight on his computer.
— Alan Vann (@Alan_Vann_) August 31, 2026

As we've said before, we don't typically cover randos on X because they may not be who they say they are but that being said, if a rando posts something really clever, awful, stupid, or funny, well, that changes things.

And this is pretty damn funny.

Well, we suppose it's not funny for him.

Self proclaimed communist complaining that the police he wants defunded aren’t solving a hit and run on the car he seems to privately own. Oh, the irony. https://t.co/KTv01tmRUF
— Karen Hamilton (@KarenHamiltonVA) September 1, 2026

The irony is DELISH.

Don’t you freaks want to defund the police anyway? Imagine trying to get anything done when antifascist fags like you are constantly berating and challenging them. I don’t blame him for not giving a fuck.
— Dread Pirate Andrew (@gnarquill) September 1, 2026

This is why we want to defund them, fascist chud.
— Alan Vann (@Alan_Vann_) September 1, 2026

He mad.

Lotta people who claim to care about government overspending arguing for a Police Chief watching MMA/UFC on the clock in my mentions. I know that pointing out the hypocrisy of the right is pointless because they don’t have any actual beliefs but Jesus, make it make sense.
— Alan Vann (@Alan_Vann_) September 1, 2026