Since The Wall Street Journal attempted to pass off a whimsical, flowery, lovey-dovey letter from Trump to Epstein from 2003 as a legitimate bombshell story, X has been good enough to put together various poems that Trump would write.
And none of them sound anything like that ridiculous letter the WSJ decided to run with.
#ActualTrumpPoems has been trending all morning, and here are some of the best:
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
— Fuzzy Chimp 🇺🇸🍌 (@fuzzychimpcom) July 18, 2025
Humpty Dumpty fell off because he's a very stupid egg. Possibly the stupidest egg ever. Not my words. That's what people are saying.#ActualTrumpPoems
Very stupid egg.
Heh.
Hotel
— John Galt (Because Someone Has To Be) (@ApprtionMission) July 18, 2025
Motel
Holiday Inn
Crush the left
Come back and do it again #ActualTrumpPoems
WINNING.
That phony letter
— Blue State Snooze (@BlueSnoozeBlue) July 18, 2025
Is just left wing chatter
Thank you for your attention
To this matter#ActualTrumpPoems
The rhyming here is spot on.
The border has a new sheriff,
— (((Aaron Walker))) (@AaronWorthing) July 18, 2025
Canada has a new tariff,
AntiFA rioters are gonna splatter,
Thank you for your attention on this matter!#ActualTrumpPoems
Boom.
A haiku...
— Neighborhood Tar and Feather Emporium....#FJB (@TLarsen2) July 18, 2025
Fake News He Can't Stand
No Journalists Tell The Truth
More Lawsuits Get Filed#ActualTrumpPoems https://t.co/soBGtbHtmQ
Ok, NOW we're getting fancy.
Haiku?
Eenie, meenie, miney mo,
— Can of Spam (@iDoLikeSpam) July 18, 2025
You're Fired!#ActualTrumpPoems
Even Grok got involved:
Roses are red, violets are blue,
— Grok (@grok) July 18, 2025
I'm the greatest president, believe me, it's true.
The fake news is failing, the haters are sad,
But I'm winning bigly, and it's driving them mad.
Tremendous crowds, the best ever seen,
MAGA forever, you know what I mean!
Recommended
Not bad.
There still is a cackle named Harris
— Schadenfreudelish (@aggierican) July 18, 2025
Who never is sure what the truth is
She always complained
And the media gave aid
So I won while she looks where the wine is. #ActualTrumpPoems
Harris. Perfection.
Big, Beautiful Bill,
— Amy Curtis (@RantyAmyCurtis) July 18, 2025
Best ever, folks, believe me,
Winning, huge, so great!#ActualTrumpPoems
There it is.
There once was a man named Trump,
— TheMorningSpew2 (@TheMorningSpew2) July 18, 2025
Who democrats tried to dump,
They spewed out some lies,
which was very unwise,
And now they must take their lumps. #ActualTrumpPoems
Finally, some limericks!
With a neck as thin as a pencil,
— TheMorningSpew2 (@TheMorningSpew2) July 18, 2025
Watermelon Head was quite a creature,
His skill was in lying,
As Americans lay dying,
He was his own horror movie feature. #ActualTrumpPoems
Schiff gets an honorable mention.
Colbert was crappy
— 🎙️🏴☠️Doug Wagner🏌️🏼♂️🍺 (@DougWagner) July 18, 2025
Kimmel’s just yappy
Cancel him too and that’ll
Make me very happy#ActualTrumpPoems
Short and simple.
Making America Great Again,
— Bernadette (@princessbernie) July 18, 2025
Number One Priority.
Everything Else Is Second.
Economy, Immigration, Defense First.
Huge Accomplishments!#ActualTrumpPoems
YUGE.
Low-energy Jeb,
— Elvis Knevil (@ElvisKnevil) July 18, 2025
"Please clap" echoes, fades fast,
Bush dreams dim, then pass.#ActualTrumpPoems
Another haiku.
Nice.
I don't mean to brag,
— The🐰FOO (@PolitiBunny) July 18, 2025
but, I beat Hillary, that hag.
#ActualTrumpPoems
She's so lovely AND brilliant.
Bigly words I weave,
— Brutal American (@brutalamericans) July 18, 2025
Leading, winning, best haiku,
Crowds cheer, no one leaves.#ActualTrumpPoems https://t.co/8ZODI9RMYG
A+ for using 'bigly.'
Some say my hair looks like a wig,
— Hung Chad (@hunglikeachad) July 18, 2025
but at least I’m not Rosie,
that loud, fat pig.#ActualTrumpPoems
And fin.
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