Deep down we all know the federal government funds a good many things that make zero sense for them to fund. But when you see a thread spelling out the ridiculous items that we don’t know about … you have to laugh or you’ll never stop crying and throwing up.
Caleb Hull was good enough to put a thread together with all of these items and all we can say after reading it is, ‘Holy sh*t.’
Good luck.
THREAD:
Dems are refusing to fund the border wall, so I thought I'd create a list of all the insane things government DOES FUND.
‣ $3,000,000 for World of Warcraft: tax $ funded UC Irvine researchers' screen time
‣ $800,000 on studying significance of genital-washing pic.twitter.com/DDhrQpcw3z— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
If you have to study the significance of genital washing there is no hope for you.
Seriously.
$800,000 for THAT?!
‣ $2,500,000 on a Super Bowl commercial that was so terribly produced that it was banned after it aired
‣ $1,000,000 on Zoo Poetry: "increasing environmental awareness" by creating poetry in four different zoos
‣ $175,000,000 on buildings that have been vacant for years— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Zoo poetry.
WTAF?
‣ $765,828 on pancakes: tax dollars subsidized an IHOP in an "under-served" area of DC
‣ $442,340 studying behavior of male prostitutes in Vietnam
‣ $168,766 studying monkeys who throw their poop
‣ $914,000 studying romance novels: topics included "Team Edward or Jacob?"— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Oh well pancakes totally make sense.
KIDDING.
Male prostitutes in Vietnam … what, American male prostitutes weren’t good enough?
‣ $5,000,000 studying the drinking habits of college students on game days
‣ $5,000,000 on hipster parties with the goal of ending smoking
‣ $2,000,000 for the Department of Agriculture to fund an internship program. The program hired ONE full-time intern.— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
If the government wants to throw $5 MILLION dollars away this editor can totally explain drinking habits of college students on game day.
They drink.
A lot.
The end.
Hipster parties?
TWO MILLION FOR ONE DAMN INTERN!?!?!
‣ $300,000 to encourage Americans to consume caviar made in Idaho
‣ $200,000 on a "tattoo removal progam" in CA
‣ $60,000 for the IRS to create a parody film of Star Trek and Gilligan’s Island
‣ $1M per year for NASA to create food menu for Mars mission that is decades away— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Because all of the finest caviar comes from Idaho.
Dafuq?
‣ $202,000 to determine if Wikipedia is sexist
‣ $242,600 to study effects of cocaine on honey bees
‣ $4,900,000 to dress students up in fruit costumes and encourage them to eat healthy
‣ $495,000 on commercials to create jobs that never created any jobs— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Wikipedia is not sexist.
Honey bees shouldn’t do cocaine.
Nearly $5 million for FRUIT COSTUMES!?!?!
‣ $250M training 60 Syrian rebels to fight the Islamic State
‣ $10M on creating two video games aimed at fighting obesity (FOR REAL)
‣ $900,000 studying social interactions of guppies
‣ $6.3M for VA facility in California to buy artwork— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Video games to fight obesity.
Ok SMOD, any day now.
‣ $10M to studying dog tail wagging
‣ $325,000 to build a robot squirrel
‣ $2.5M on coasters for bars that say "IF YOU SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING"
‣ $31M on first class flights in 4 years for the Department of Health and Human Services alone— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Dogs wag their tails.
Done.
Robot squirrel … you know what, we got nothin’.
WHY ARE THESE BASTARDS FLYING FIRST CLASS?!?!?!
‣ $1.3M studying effectiveness of koozies keeping drinks cold
‣ $100M to clean up environmental mess that Environmental Protection Agency created
‣ $387,000 studying the effect of swedish massages on rabbits
‣ $5M on tweeting responses to pro-ISIS rhetoric— Caleb Hull (@CalebJHull) January 9, 2019
Democrats won’t fund the wall but they’ll fund this stuff? FFS.
This is your tax dollars at work. YOUR MONEY!!! We can’t afford border security & Democrats think we need to pay higher taxes. Are you not entertained? https://t.co/xMzdGOTnSh
— Stacey (@ScotsFyre) January 10, 2019
Oh we’re entertained.
And pissed.
Related:
Join the conversation as a VIP Member