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'Congratulashuns, Garduites!' Jay Jones REALLY Should Have Stayed Off X a Day After His SCOVA Debacle

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  5:30 PM on May 09, 2026


The person in Virginia having the worst week ever this week is clearly Senate Leader, marijuana dealer, and possible Medicaid fraudster L. Louise Lucas. Following close behind her is Hakeem Jeffries -- and he doesn't even live in Virginia. 

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But in very close third place HAS to be current Attorney General Jay 'Two Bullets' Jones. Not only did the Virginia Supreme Court throw out the Democrats' illegal gerrymandering scheme in the Old Dominion yesterday, but in the court opinion, SCOVA specifically called Jones out for being a pretty incompetent lawyer and chief law enforcement officer. 

To add hilarious insult to injury, the motion that Jones then hurriedly filed with the US Supreme Court to appeal the decision was riddled with embarrassing spelling errors. Not to mention the fact that the appeal has no chance of being taken up by SCOTUS. This is a state issue. SCOVA has the final say. Even liberal Supremes tend to stay out of meddling in the legal affairs of the 50 states. 

All things considered, Jones should have taken the weekend and stayed off social media. Maybe he could've sat in his backyard and fantasized some more about dead Republican children. 

But, of course, Jones is a sociopathic narcissist with zero self-awareness, so he couldn't help but boast this afternoon about delivering the commencement address to the graduating class at Norfolk State University. 

Yes, Spartans. BEHOLD ... the incompetent imbecile! 

Needless to say, this post REALLY did not go well for Jones in the wake of recent events. 

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We hope someone at least went in and crossed out all the references to murdering his political opponents. 

It would be hilarious if one of the graduates held up a misspelled sign and showed it to Jones (we'll keep an eye out for that). 

LOL. 

Out in the first round. 

Jones was so incapable of presenting the Democrats' case to SCOVA, they had to bring in outside counsel from -- you guessed it! -- California. 

Lest we forget, yesterday was not the first time that Jones was presented with a first-grade-level spelling test ... and failed it. 

Jones' office can't afford any clerks. They spent that money on hiring a $300,000 per year DEI Coordinator. 

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HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! 

But Jones' struggles with orthography weren't the only reason everyone on X was dragging him. No one has forgotten who he is deep down. 

And woe to any conservative students who might have been graduating today. 

Hopefully, university security made him go through a metal detector before he took the stage. 

Hey, if the Democrats want to keep burning money on illegal, failed gerrymanders, we're not going to stop them. 

Norfolk State, you can do a LOT better. 

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In fact, you could pick pretty much any random person off the street for your commencement address, and you would be doing better. 

Can't we know him as both? 

We'll just go ahead and know him as both. 

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