I’ve often talked about how sad I find the state of the American family. It’s heartbreaking that so many children grow up without grandparents and extended family nearby, and I truly believe that absence has helped unravel society. A woman recently posted that she was upset because her mother made her feel bad simply for asking if she could babysit the grandchildren.
I asked my (boomer) mom to watch my (good) kids during the day while I'm at a conference. She said yes, but in the same text: -said she wouldn't do it again -made me feel guilty for asking her since she's already so busy -said she doesn't have the stamina (she's 64 and in good health) -doesn't want to "be in a disciplinarian role" and just wants to be Grandma - is leaving early to make it back in time to attend a church function -and says I need a reliable back up plan because she may bail last minute
— Prairie Housewife (@prairiehsewife) October 5, 2026
I absolutely kid you not. No hyperbole.
— Prairie Housewife (@prairiehsewife) October 5, 2026
To be clear, I've never personally experienced this. Before my dad died, he devoted himself to my kids and was the best Papa on the planet. My mom is still with us and still very much involved in the lives of her (now grown) grandchildren. I couldn't be more grateful. My parents also helped with their grandkids enthusiastically and never made me feel I 'owed' them for helping with their grandchildren.
In exchange, I didn't give them a long set of rules when they kept my kids. I knew they were doing me a favor and well, the rules don't apply at Grammy's house.
Things I'd never do. It's an honor and privilege to watch all four of my grandchildren. Anytime I'm asked which is a couple times a week and those are hands-down the best days of my week! Sleepovers are the best! And I have two demanding jobs, writing a book, traveling for my jobs and the book and oh yeah there's a movie being made about my book last year. Not all boomers are created equally.
— ZitoSalena (@ZitoSalena) October 7, 2026
There were grandparents who were appalled at the way this grandmother treated her adult daughter. That was a relief. There were also way too many who thought 'babysitting' grandchildren was beneath them.
@prairiehsewife I cannot believe what an entitled bunch if brats you guys are. Grandparents DO NOT have to do squat for YOUR KIDS. They're YOURS. Holy crap.
— Cori Hyland (@CoriHyland) October 6, 2026
This one sent me into orbit! Is someone entitled to expect their family to help them? What in the world? Maybe when these kinds of grandparents are old and frail and need their children’s help, they’ll get the same kind of aloof response in return.
That’s the thing about helping your adult children and grandchildren: if you form warm, loving relationships with them over a long life, at the end of your life they’ll be far more willing to make sure you’re safe and well cared for. We’re supposed to support “the least of these” in our families.
Okay "renter," Grandma isn't your employee. 1. Hire a babysitter. 2. You asked. She said yes. It was a request, not an obligation. 3. Chasing kids around exhausted two parents in our 20s. Acting like a healthy 64 year old can't have less stamina than you is a remarkable combination of entitlement and cluelessness about aging. 4. She wants to be Grandma, not your unpaid disciplinarian. Seems reasonable. 5. She already had plans. Why exactly should your conference automatically outrank her life and commitments? 6. She literally told you to have a backup plan. That's not "bailing"; that's giving you advance warning so you can act like an adult and plan accordingly. And throwing "(boomer)" in front of "mom" doesn't strengthen your argument. It just makes the whole complaint sound petulant. Your mother raised her children. She isn't obligated to raise yours, or rearrange her life whenever you need childcare.
— Richard W. Byers (@RichardWByers) October 5, 2026
I can’t imagine having this attitude toward my children and grandchildren. They are my flesh and blood, after all. These same grandparents who claim to be too exhausted to watch a child for a few hours have no trouble playing pickleball, golfing 18 holes, or square-dancing the night away with their friends. No social obligation should come before your family. The only things that reasonably should are your job and a medical appointment for a serious health issue.
This kind of cold behavior toward the people you’ll need to care for you at the end of your life is baffling — and a poor strategy for your own self-preservation. Something is deeply wrong with this subset of the older generation. When we tally what’s gone wrong with the American family, put this near the top of the list.
