I frequently write here about Motherhood and the importance of the extended family. It's my own personal soapbox.
I not only preach it, but I live it. I live on land with my son and his future wife, my mom and my adult daughter. We all have our own homes on the property (except my college aged daughter still lives in the house with me).
We share meals and evenings together. When my son and his fiancé want to travel or be out late with friends, they bring their dog to my house. They know I'm always a willing babysitter. They hope to have children soon, and I will always be available for date nights or if they have had a long night with the baby.
My son is a firefighter who is gone 24 hours at a time, so I am fully prepared to help his wife when she is in the newborn trenches overnight. Her Mother will do the same.
My future daughter-in-law will never go through post-partum alone. She will always make it through the trenches of motherhood because I will drag her out when she needs it. My Mom did the same for me. My Mom's Mother-in-law did the same for her. When my Mom's sister lost her husband to the Vietnam War and she had four children under the age of five, my Mom came to live with her sister at a 16-year-old girl. She kept her sister out of the trenches. That's what your family is supposed to do.
My husband traveled quite a bit when our children were younger. He happened to be out of town one week when I got horribly sick. I didn’t realize I was that sick until the night I was up with our infant daughter and I was so feverish that I was struggling to take care of her. I…
— Vanessa Hunt (@meetuatthefence) August 20, 2026
I read Vanessa's story with such sadness. Young couples should live near help. If there is any way possible (and there usually is), young couples should live near family when they start having babies.
Obviously, this assumes your family is safe. If you happen to be from a family that was not, make it your mission to marry into one that is. You'll need that support.
I’m going to give new moms some free advice: if your older relatives can’t help, cultivate friendships with post-menopausal neighbors and co-workers. None of us sleep anyway and your crying kid doesn’t faze us, we’re immune to it.
— Cowboy Charlie (@char5191) August 20, 2026
Call me at 2 am if you need to. I’m up. https://t.co/VGNOUmzPEP
I know this was a bit tongue in cheek, but it's honestly so true. Maybe the Lord made menopausal women unable to sleep because He knew we would often become Grandmothers during that time. I never go to sleep until 2 AM and that's on a good day. My kids know I'll be happy to take middle of the night feedings while they rest. It will be the perfect time to pray over the futures of my grandbabies.
If you don't have relatives who will step in, look for older women in your church who would love to help you. Truly.
To wrap it up, I'm going to preach at the ladies who are my age and older. To the over fifty crowd, there is more to retirement than traveling, playing cards with friends, drinking (a lot), and relaxing. All things in moderation. Your adult children still need parents and emotional support. This is their first time in the world, too. Go on trips but then come home and dive into being grandparents. Help the new Mamas in your family. Give the young couples date nights. Treat your family to nice meals out. Pay for family vacations if the budget allows. Create a legacy of family blessing one another.
