Sometimes we feel bad about the mean nicknames we give to Democrat politicians.
Just kidding. No, we don't. Because they always deserve them.
In the case of the Democrat nominee for Senate in Michigan, there are a whole truckload of them. The "Hamas Halfling," "Stepstool Abdul," and "Abdul Elf-Sayed" are just a few of our favorites. It's Halloween, and Michigan voters want full bars, but Abdul El-Sayed is clearly fun-sized (minus the fun).
We know the nicknames sting because El-Sayed clearly has an inferiority complex about his diminutive height. He's always trying to tell us how tough he is (when he's not dancing to Whitney Houston videos).
It's why he buys all of his T-shirts at the Baby Gap.
It's also why he goes on unhinged, bizarre rants against men who are far superior to him in every way, as El-Sayed did against Pete Hegseth on Thursday night in an appearance on Jesse Watters' Fox News program.
Here is the clip that Twitchy covered yesterday:
El-Sayed went on this bizarre rant against Pete Hegseth -- claiming that Hegseth "rode the pine" in "whatever sport he played" in high school. He invoked Hegseth's mother (moms are fair game now, huh?), and claimed she was "the type" who would have worn her son's jersey to games. *Hegseth was an all-state point guard in high school in Minnesota, set various school records. He played college ball and got some floor time in the 2001 NCAA tournament. El-Sayed played club lacrosse at Michigan.* Here's El-Sayed's animosity-filled diatribe against Hegseth: "You know he would have rode the pine. He probably got to start 2 games his entire career, playing whatever sport it was." "His parents came and cheered so hard for him." "Bro, I feel bad for you. Somebody told you you're a lot better than you really are." "There's something about being a brown kid whose parents...no matter what you do you're never enough." "For him, the very fact that he made the team: his mom was making cake, she was wearing his jersey, she had a cap made for him. You know the type."
— Chuck Ross (@ChuckRossDC) October 30, 2026
With apologies to James "Talafreako" in Texas, that is just WEIRD.
Why would he attack Hegseth's parents for loving their son and wanting to see him play? There are obviously some other psychological issues going on with El-Sayed in addition to his Little Man Syndrome.
Of course, the truth is that while El-Sayed played several sports in high school, he was not good enough to play anything other than club level in college. Meanwhile, Hegseth was an all-conference basketball player in high school and also played for John Thompson III at Princeton University.
Yeah, we're pretty sure we know who the scrub is here, and it ain't Hegseth.
El-Sayed also displayed a supreme lack of self-awareness in his rant. Just last year, he embarrassed himself on Hasan Piker's podcast by trying to shoot some hoops. This was back when he and Piker were besties, and El-Sayed wasn't trying to pretend that he'd barely ever heard of the man who said that America deserved 9/11.
Sure enough, as soon as footage of El-Sayed's rant surfaced on X, so did the old video.
If you can survive the secondhand embarrassment, watch below:
Top of the key! https://t.co/RUsuOzFbtp
— Bobby LaValley (@Bobby_LaVallley) October 30, 2026
Oh. Oh, dear.
We may have just died from the cringe.
Nothin' but air, baby!
— Brian (with an i) (@bst6031) October 31, 2026
HA!
Just like his campaign…..nothing but air
— Dynasty Life (@MyDynastyLife) October 30, 2026
Well, air, antisemitism, and hatred of the United States.
But yes, other than that, he's got nothing.
Abdul El-Sayed if he was one of the hijackers: https://t.co/xLFsFRL1Ch
— Siraj Hashmi (@SirajAHashmi) October 31, 2026
Brutal.
Absolutely BRUTAL!
He is literally the complete opposite of everything he says he is lol
— Wade Plemons (@WadePlem) October 31, 2026
We should also point out that El-Sayed has often claimed to be a practicing physician, which he absolutely is not.
Whoa! Will you look at that Pick Six!
— Margot Cleveland (@ProfMJCleveland) October 31, 2026
Aaaaaand, now we just spit out our drink.
Definitely some "Coach" Tim Walz vibes going on here.
Add basketball to the list of things Abdul hates once he sees this video
— Hunter Lovell (@hunter_lovell23) October 30, 2026
The list that already includes America and Americans. (Not to mention dogs.)
Several X users also pointed out that El-Sayed doesn't even know basic basketball terms. He was not, in fact, shooting from the top of the key.
Dude really needs to stop pretending he plays/enjoys sports... 😬 pic.twitter.com/TKVKJVeTlG
— Chris Musselman (@TakeRightTurn) October 30, 2026
There is a pretty common basketball term to identify the spot where El-Sayed shot his airball. A term that he clearly does not know.
Area man unaware of the elbow.
— Luke Thompson (@ltthompso) October 31, 2026
Holy s*** he airballed it from the elbow and shouted “top of the key”
— Mealsandeals (@Mealsandeals) October 31, 2026
As if the video wasn't facepalm-worthy enough as it was.
Is it Islamophobic to point out that’s not the top of the key?
— Mary Katharine Ham (@mkhammer) October 31, 2026
Yes, that is probably what he will claim, you white colonizers!
But we're pretty sure that Hegseth knows where the top of the key is ... and how to shoot from there.
This is actually the top of the key. pic.twitter.com/sbJCgpEKjp
— lavadog (@lavadog5) October 31, 2026
A shot so smooth, Bill Raftery might shout, "Onions!"
Let's see them both, side-by-side:
@PeteHegseth @SecWar @AbdulElSayed
— Joni Job (@jj_talking) October 30, 2026
El-Sayed 🏀 Air Ball
Hegseth 🏀 Swish pic.twitter.com/kM2GL20Ksk
OOF!
And Hegseth's shot wasn't a one-off. He set single-season and career records for three-pointers in high school. During this shootaround at the Air Force Academy earlier in October, he sank nine out of 10.
Just a little short (kind of like his election). pic.twitter.com/QZ80jiGjoS
— Jim (@JimTBreakout) October 31, 2026
"Just a little short."
That's kind of El-Sayed in a nutshell, isn't it?
We'd say he has a Napoleon Complex, but Napoleon actually won many significant victories before his ultimate downfall.
Hopefully, El-Sayed's downfall will come for him this Tuesday.
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