OK, we’re confused. We thought that people were supposed to stop having children because of climate change. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was asked at SXSW if it was still OK to have children because of their contribution to climate change, she replied that it’s a “basic moral question.”

NPR told us about the phenomenon of “climate trauma,” when expectant parents who “know the science” of climate change are overwhelmed with feelings of guilt or despair. The New Republic warned us of the cruelty of having children in the era of climate change, noting that “some argue that bringing children into a decaying world is immoral.”

And then some genius at Slate had the brilliant idea of a grandchild strike: deny your baby boomer parents grandchildren until they straighten up and vote better: “They’ll get behind the Green New Deal in exchange for a giggly little cutie patootie.”

But now someone is telling us how to get millennials to actually grow up, get married, and have children? There’s a hitch, though:

So millennials will have kids if you forgive their student debt and promise them free tuition, free child care, free health care, and mandatory paid leave? Is that what they’ve been waiting for?

Abolish paywalls and then we’ll talk about children.


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