OK, we’re confused. We thought that people were supposed to stop having children because of climate change. Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was asked at SXSW if it was still OK to have children because of their contribution to climate change, she replied that it’s a “basic moral question.”
NPR told us about the phenomenon of “climate trauma,” when expectant parents who “know the science” of climate change are overwhelmed with feelings of guilt or despair. The New Republic warned us of the cruelty of having children in the era of climate change, noting that “some argue that bringing children into a decaying world is immoral.”
And then some genius at Slate had the brilliant idea of a grandchild strike: deny your baby boomer parents grandchildren until they straighten up and vote better: “They’ll get behind the Green New Deal in exchange for a giggly little cutie patootie.”
But now someone is telling us how to get millennials to actually grow up, get married, and have children? There’s a hitch, though:
if you want millennials to get hitched and have kids, try debt forgiveness, free tuition, universal healthcare, child allowances and paid leave OR yelling in your local comments section, i'm sure one or the other will work: https://t.co/J9Z5gnUZ5M
— elizabeth bruenig (@ebruenig) May 30, 2019
So millennials will have kids if you forgive their student debt and promise them free tuition, free child care, free health care, and mandatory paid leave? Is that what they’ve been waiting for?
So, in order to make them become responsible adults, teach them that they have zero responsibility for themselves and their actions?
Seems like a solid plan.
BTW, how did the rest of us manage without these things?https://t.co/3cNkKR32zh
— BonkPolitics (@BonkPolitics) May 30, 2019
None of those things stopped us. It’s called hard work and financial discipline.
— T. Chad Winder (@tchadwinder) May 30, 2019
Can we also get free groceries and cars? Kids eat A LOT and I’m always driving their asses everywhere.
— basic becky (@justanurse25) May 30, 2019
If you want us to have kids just give us a bunch of free stuff!
— basic becky (@justanurse25) May 30, 2019
Those are exactly the people I don’t want having kids.
— All Bets Off (@allbetsoff2003) May 30, 2019
Most people would just settle for having them move out of the house and paying their own bills.
— Matt Snavely (@mattsnavely) May 30, 2019
The idea that "policies" are what stop millennials from getting married and having babies is frivolous.
"I'd like a kid, but damn if that child tax credit isn't quite generous enough," said no person ever.
There's no political solution to our cultural rot.
— Tim Friend (@TimLFriend) May 30, 2019
None of those policies have done much to increase birthrates in Europe though
— Minervas Muse (@minervas_muse) May 30, 2019
Most countries with free tuition, paid leave, and universal healthcare have lower birth rates than the US https://t.co/i0q74etFuL
— Payton Alexander (@AlexanderPayton) May 30, 2019
Thank goodness I don't want Millennials reproducing. That sounds expensive!
— Tonya Vlasik (@lawgirl) May 30, 2019
Or get married to your soul mate regardless of the above and lead an incredibly fulfilling and statistically more financially secure life.
— Trevor Bonat (@bonatonit) May 30, 2019
Well stated, brother.
— Jeffrey Howard (@Jeffmonster) May 30, 2019
Getting married is a family decision. That means a loving mother and father must come together to give and sacrifice themselves for the ultimate joy and honor of raising the next generation and having a legacy.
— Fred Tran (@YupItsFreddy) May 30, 2019
IOW: If you want us to have babies, give us free stuff and don't complain about it
— Spring Frog (@TueborFrog) May 30, 2019
Treat me like a child so I can have a child.
— Lone Pats Fan (@LonePatFan1) May 30, 2019
I’ll pass. Thanks for playing though.
— Paul Mason (@pfm1112) May 30, 2019
Somehow the human race survived this long without giving out door prizes for procreation. If millennials feel that they will not produce worthwhile offspring, I’m inclined to believe them.
— LevelToPower (@LevelToPower) May 30, 2019
Even better: they could just not have kids if they don’t want to
— Mike Guttman (@TheCasualMikeG) May 30, 2019
A solution from a generation raised on participation trophies. What could possible go wrong?
— Tony Rovere (@tonyrovere) May 30, 2019
All of these prescriptions are things parents are responsible for providing. If we're just going to empower government to do them for us, why not leave them to raise our children as well?
I can think of many reasons not to do this.
— Matthew Morrison (@stuffmattdoesnt) May 30, 2019
Wait did previous generations have those things?
— Steve (@Sjanderson86) May 30, 2019
This article will single-handedly end the myth once and for all about millennials just wanting everything handed to them. Great job!
— Matthew Chapman (@scarbo59) May 30, 2019
“Give me everything I want and then I’ll come out of my room.”
— ConservatishInSeattle (@PaperPlateMask3) May 30, 2019
Most helpless generation ever.
— Nan Crews (@nancrews) May 30, 2019
Also, get rid of paywalls
— 'Mingo Boy ?☠️ (@WhoUnionman792) May 30, 2019
the paywall supplies bushels of wheat to my family which we use to survive the winter
— elizabeth bruenig (@ebruenig) May 30, 2019
But many cannot afford the paywalls. Don’t you care about them?
— Tim (@tntDVM) May 30, 2019
Abolish paywalls and then we’ll talk about children.
Related:
Meet BirthStrike, the group too afraid to have children because of climate change https://t.co/EVoIN22cpK
— Twitchy Team (@TwitchyTeam) March 10, 2019
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