‘We’re Being Poisoned’: Jimmy Kimmel Says Late-Night TV Isn’t Dying of Natural Causes
Purge Urge: ‘Economist’ Paul Krugman Says U.S. Needs a ‘DeMAGAfication’ Like Germany’s De-...
MS NOW Anchor Feels ‘Deep Unease’ Over Celebrating America’s 250th Birthday
Nation Columnist Says the ‘Messier’ Platner Turns Out to Be, the More He...
Cato Stooge: ‘So You Can’t Sit on a Sidewalk Anymore?’ Not After Curfew...
Bernie Sanders’ Bill Would Have Government Take Half of AI Companies’ Stock
‘Murder,’ He Smote!: Raging Scott Pelley Goes Off on Bari Weiss and New...
Twin Cities Anti-ICE Protesters Awarded the JFK Profile in Courage Award
Free Press: Graham Platner’s ‘Troubles’ Strike Many as Relatable, Like Their Drunk Right-W...
New Jersey State Troopers Step Up, Rush Anti-ICE Rioters at 9 PM Curfew;...
Federal Appeals Court Finds Trump’s Transgender Military Ban Unconstitutional, Based Upon...
Bulwark Founder FANGIRLS Over 'Brand New to Politics' Graham Platner Who She Claims...
Jon Ossoff Just Admitted How OBSESSED He Is With Trump (and That He...
Turns Out Robo-Talarico's 'Bot Problem Goes WAY Deeper Than Just 2 Clips' (Is...
BRUTAL Post Sums Up Graham Platner Campaign's Three-Act Farce: Threaten, Lie, Then Lie...

'Curious' CNN Consumer Reporter Asks What Happened to the Shoplifting Crisis, Gets ALL THE ANSWERS

Journalism meme

If you live anywhere near a major city and shop -- which means you're like a majority of people -- you've probably noticed that stores are taking extra measures to curb shoplifting. From locking up items behind the counter to putting special locked cases on the shelf that require an employee key, stores weren't going to just sit idly by and let shoplifters rob them blind.

Advertisement

That, or the stores are just closing. Like the Walgreens locations in Boston.

In California, retailers have lost $7.2 billion to shoplifters. The issue is so bad, California Democrats passed legislation increasing the penalties on retail theft (as a way of staving off Prop 36, which has even tougher penalties). In New York, theft has cost retailers $4.4 billion, and Gov. Kathy Hochul declared 'war' on shoplifting.

In short, it's bad. Or was.

Because stores implemented a lot of the things we mentioned above: locking up items, closing down stores. Things that make retail theft difficult, if not impossible.

And you'd think the 'Curious consumer reporter' for CNN would not only know this.

You'd think wrong:

He writes:

A year ago, America’s stores declared a shoplifting epidemic. They closed stores in major cities, hired extra security, locked up key merchandise and declared big losses in their financial statements.

This year, retailers are telling a very different story — or no story at all. It’s as if the shoplifting crisis suddenly vanished.

Take Target, for example.

Last year, Target said a scourge of petty theft and organized groups stealing merchandise dented its profit by more than $500 million. Target also closed nine stores, saying “theft and organized retail crime” threatened worker and customer safety and made business unsustainable.

But now, Target is sounding a different message as it gets a better grip on lost merchandise, known as shrink. (Shrink and theft are often used interchangeably, although shrink also accounts for inventory losses from employee theft, damaged and spoiled products, administrative errors, vendor fraud and other factors.)

Advertisement

But don't worry -- X users did his job for him and pointed out why retail theft is down.

Right?

Look at that. Steaks behind iron bars.

Heh.

Many people can't afford the bread or the gas to get to the store.

And when there's nothing to steal, of course the retail theft rate goes down.

OH MY GOD.

The shoplifting rate was up and the CNN consumer reporter runs with the headline 'America's stores are winning the war on shoplifting'?

You don't despise the media enough.

Advertisement

He really is smug, isn't he?

The last Denny's in San Francisco closed recently thanks to dining and dashing -- which is also theft.

Nathaniel Meyersohn's next story: 'how retail theft helped create jobs.'

And people lost jobs and residents of the community lost access to needed goods and services.

CNN sucks.

Advertisement

Bingo. Meyersohn even admits the measures have 'frustrated shoppers', which is a way of saying we get victimized by criminals again. And Meyersohn thinks that's a win.

You. Don't. Despise. The. Media. Enough.

Join the conversation as a VIP Member

Recommended

Trending on Twitchy Videos

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement