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Obama: Aliens Are Real (WATCH)

AP Photo/Universal Pictures

Um… we have no words:

Okay, now we have some words. Seriously, does anyone think this author would not have words?

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First, if you can’t actually watch right now, former president Barack Obama was asked if aliens are real, and he says they are. And then he goes on to say he hasn’t seen them and as far as he knows, they aren’t stored at Area 51 or an underground facility.

So… maybe they are stored at an above ground facility called Area 52?

Joking aside (maybe?), here’s a transcript:

And as noted by more than a few responders, the interviewer, Brian Tyler Cohen, didn’t bother to ask any follow up questions:

This is probably the most important follow up that could be asked. For instance, if you asked this author if aliens exist, we’d probably say something like this:

‘They probably do. In the infinite vastness of space, the notion that intelligent life only arose on Earth seems mathematically unlikely. But I am extremely skeptical of any claim that they have ever traveled here.’

And for all we know, that’s all Obama meant: He thinks aliens exist somewhere out there in space, but that they haven’t necessarily visited the Earth.

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Or maybe he has seen video footage from an air force pilot where an alien landed his/her/its ship, got out and danced the Macarena. Maybe when Obama said he hadn’t seen them, he meant that he hadn’t seen them with his own eyes. We think that is unlikely but we are always open to being proven wrong on any subject.

And before you say it is farfetched that an advanced intelligent alien lifeform would do such a thing, that is actually very plausible. After all, television and radio waves move no faster than the speed of light, so aliens who live several light years away might be decades behind current human trends. *smirks*

Jokes aside, our deeper point is that if you don’t ask Obama how he knows this, then his answer is meaningless. It could be based on knowledge available to the public. Or it could be based on information only the President can know. If it’s based on information we already have, such as watching available public footage, then it logically shouldn’t change your mind on the subject. But if he is saying he was privy to information we regular citizens haven’t seen, then that might justify changing our minds on the subject. But bluntly, we wouldn’t take Barack ‘If you like your health care plan, you’ll be able to keep your health care plan, period’ Obama at his word. We would want to see what he has seen to convince him.

And, of course, there is the non-zero chance of it just being a joke or troll on Obama’s part or even possibly an AI deep fake.

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In any case, we hope someone will follow up with him and get more information.

A lot of people dragged him on the lack of follow up.

Like… a lot.

But we are going to skip over the many, many people who dragged him on this point, just because it is getting repetitive.

Well, except most people would hedge it by saying throwing in an ‘I think’ or ‘probably’ in there. But Obama doesn’t always speak exactly.

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Of course, we tend to think that Michael Creighton's criticism of the Drake equation is on point:

This is why we said above that it 'seems mathematically unlikely' that intelligent life only arose on Earth. We know that we don't have hard numbers on this point.

This adds new meaning to the phrase ‘getting some strange.’

Honestly, we are not clear on that point, but it is a reasonable interpretation.

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The cut off text:

You and Michelle are great parents and have raised a wonderful family. I wish you all the best. 

Signed-

A mom that misses you and your decorum for the office and respect for humanity.

Lady, if you want to give him a Lewisnky, just say it.

Hey, we are!

See, this is part of what makes us think this might be a troll, because you know now someone is going to ask Trump about this. And what will Trump say? Will he feed the fire? Or will he get annoyed at the distraction? If we were Obama and we wanted to troll the news cycle, this would be a perfect way to do it.

Finally, okay... we admit it. We have been part of the cover up and we are going to come clean. There are aliens and humans have been engaging them in space and the truth is even more frightening than you might imagine:

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Be afraid. Be very afraid.

P.S.: If you are a VIP, you might want to log out just to read a very special VIP pitch we wrote for this post.

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Editor’s Note: Trump will enforce our immigration laws and make sure that illegal aliens will not come into this country, whether they are crossing the border from Mexico, or flying in from Alpha Centauri.

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