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Our Gift to You This Holiday Season

Heckuva job, Petey! Amtrak riders stuck on board for 37 hours reassured that they weren't hostages

Boy oh boy, those hits keep a-comin’!

As you may have heard, there was an outage overnight affecting the FAA safety system, leading to all domestic flights getting grounded. But don’t worry — Secretary of Transportation Pete Buttigieg took swift action to … tell someone else to determine root causes and recommend next steps:

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Phew! Bold leadership when we need it most.

Nah. That would be silly. And Pete Buttigieg is not a silly person. No sir.

Hey, that’s not very nice. He’s doing the best he can, OK?

Bad at his job? Why, whatever would give you that idea?

Oh, wait. You must be talking about stuff like this. Apparently Pete Buttigieg’s ineptitude spans multiple modes of public transportation:

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Choo-choooooooo!

Hey, the passengers got where they were going eventually. And they got free pizza!

Or at least as fine as it can be with Pete Buttigieg in charge.

Looks like we’re in for a real treat. It’s gonna be lit, y’all. Just you wait.

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And if you’re using any form of public transportation, you should plan on waiting very often. Maybe even for 37 hours. Though hopefully there’ll still be pizza, at least.

Well, for what it’s worth, he’s meeting all our expectations so far.

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Related:

Climate guardian Pete Buttigieg accused of eco-hypocrisy after report on private jet usage

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