It's not him, honey, it's YOU: Blue-check's thread about how HORRIBLE marriage is for straight women pisses EVERYONE off

Marriage is bad and stuff.

For straight women.

Don’t look at us like that, we didn’t write it. This Joanna Schroeder person did …

She doesn’t mention that marriage is hard for men, or even touch on the challenges of gay marriage. No no, this is all about making straight women the victim of evil, scary, horrible marriage.

Women married to men LOVE to complain about husbands, but few admit that being married doesn't live up to the hype that our society places upon it.

We are drowned wedding culture & expectations for women to be married all while utterly unprepared for what marriage actually is.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

Keep going.

The reality of marriage is this:

1. You will not be in love with your husband for your entire life. Maybe 1% of people get that.
2. You will desire other people at some point in your marriage.
3. You will be asked to take on the bulk of your family & home care even if working.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

This editor is still very much in love with her husband of 23 years.
This editor has not desired another person.
This editor has not been asked to take on the bulk of family and home care.

4. You will not be given any tools for how to manage conflict, resentments, jealousy or labor imbalance.
5. You will likely be unable to afford marital counseling by a qualified mental health professional – or personal therapy.
6. Everything in your life will be entwined:

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

4. There are plenty of tools available for women and men who need help.
5. What?
6. That’s the point of being a team or couple.

… your finances, your sex life, your weekend activities, what you watch on TV, your ethics and morality, your career choices, your parenting and …
7. …disentangling those things ^^ is utterly unsupported in our society.
8. You will be unhappy being married sometimes.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

9. You will be seen (by society, your partner or both) as betraying your spouse for admitting that marriage & family don't fully fulfill you.
10. Society will shame you for needing space and a separate identity from your family (or shame/blame you for not wanting kids at all).

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

9. Huh?
10. Oh horse crap.

11. You'll be surrounded by fellow miserable wives who self-medicate with affairs, boozey weekends away & "wine mom" culture.
12. You will have little to no bodily autonomy and be told repeatedly that if you don't have sex w/your husband he'll find it elsewhere.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

11. Again, no. Maybe she just needs to hang out with better people?
12. Nope. No no no.

13. You will be told that everything you're feeling and doing is normal, and that you should just accept your deep dissatisfaction as a trade for the benefits (partnership, financial security, two-parent home for kids).

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

Boy oh boy, she is really laying it on.

14. You will be happy sometimes.
15. You will love your husband almost always, even when you're not in love with him.
16. You will be grateful to have a partner in life.
17. You will grow and change
18. You will stay together as long as that growth & change is parallel.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

Ummm yeah.

19. You can try to grow and change together, but there are no guarantees.
20. If you split up, you will see that as a failure, as opposed to a relationship that has run its course in a natural fashion.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

There are no guarantees about anything in life.

21. Most (ok, some) of this could be perfectly normal, healthy and natural – and we could accept it just fine and live/work through it … except NOBODY TELLS US.

And so, if we are ever deeply unhappy, we suffer, self-medicate, lock down our emotions/bodies, or cheat.

— joanna schroeder (@iproposethis) October 14, 2022

Ok, full transparency, there are several more tweets in this thread but even we have a limit to how much stupid and ridiculous we’re willing to write about. If you are the masochistic type her thread is still there in all its ugly glory on Twitter.

HARD disagree, marriage is better than I ever expected.

If all your married friends love to complain about their marriages & spouses, you need new friends. https://t.co/i27Kmn9ObJ

— Hannah Maz (@harmonizedgrace) October 16, 2022

I stopped at the first sentence and just thought, “Oh, this woman loves to complain about her husband and wrote a long thread making excuses for her behavior, probably” https://t.co/jHrVQLwgDk

— A🌷 (@LeftTheCoast) October 16, 2022