Kurt Eichenwald decided to write some sort of manifesto about his being the victim on Twitter.
Yeah, we made that exact same face and then we read through it and OMG.
Warning.
This is long.
Damn long.
And there is a good deal of whining involved, and even a few tweets on tentacle porn.
But all of that being said, THIS IS HILARIOUS:
1.This is PART 2 of my theme today – I have awoken from my naiveté.
For parts 3 and 4 – dissecting the conservative and liberal information bubbles – I have to address online lies that those bubbles have created. Those will not be the focus of 3 & 4, but theyll be referenced…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Kurt is WOKE now folks.
2. Again, if you wish to say “I don’t care!” or “Welcome to twitter, idiot!” or “How arrogant are you that you think we care??!” or “We know the truth! Stop lying!” or "What an idiot to respond!"…don’t bother and please leave. I can no longer see you in my notifications…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Considering Kurt has both this editor and Twitchy blocked he wouldn’t see us if we did say that in the first place.
But we digress.
3..…because Im open to all policy considerations, & don’t have a “this is the good side’s checklist” Ive been roundly attacked with lies. Conservatives call me a socialist. Progressives call me alt-right. Anti-semites attack, as do supporters of Trump, Sanders and Clinton…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Narrator: He’s not open to all policy considerations.
4.…because hate, insults and lies are the go-to for many Americans and pundits, I have been transformed online into someone unrecognizable to those who know me: A pedophile who loves tentacle porn, wants Republicans to die and supposedly attacked a conservative Parkland kid…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Recommended
He did attack a Parkland kid.
And we’re not the ones who had a tab open about tentacle porn on our desktop.
But whatevs.
5….so let's talk truth. And yes, if you think it is absurd to talk truth, to counter the bogus narratives of the internet, if it makes you laugh that someone is actually responding to false allegations, then please: Leave…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
It’s only absurd to talk truth when your truth is not the truth.
That sounds like a fortune cookie …
6.…In all of my career, I am most proud of this: I saved 100s of kids from molesters and child pornographers through my work. 100s of pedophiles were locked up. I testified in some of the prosecutions. My work was the subject of Congressional hearings, and was applauded…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
7..…then some crazy leftists & child pornographers – as I was warned would happen – attacked. Through their twisted lens, I was the villain. Online, I was accused of crimes against kids I saved. When one kid publicly testified I saved him, he was mercilessly attacked for years…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
8.…after the pedos were locked up, all went dormant. Then, before the election, I wrote about Russia & trump links – the first major piece on that. Russian hackers took down Newsweek site. Then a writer for a Russian propaganda site launched the "ur a pedophile" attack again…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!
That didn’t take long.
10…this spread first among Russian bots and then was picked up by Trump supporters and Bernie fanatics. Now, there is a huge faction of conservatives who are, unknowingly, picking up arguments created by far lefters who support pedophiles, to attack someone who rescued kids…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Wait, where’s 9?
You know what, never mind.
So the Russians are out to get him?
11. …the "attack dissenters" internet even transformed a goofy evening with my family into evil. My ADULT sons and I were teasing my wife about Rule 34 (look it up.) She could not believe cartoon tentacle porn existed. We started a search on the internet to prove it….
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
No way we’re looking that up, Kurt.
12….then my phone rang and we dropped the search. The next day, I tweeted a photo of a horrifically anti-semitic image included in a death threat to my home. (I receive many threats.) My computer screen was visible. Someone saw I hadn't closed the tab we used the night before….
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Sure.
13…suddenly, I was trending on twitter. REAL journalists (supposedly) began ranting about me and tentacle porn. When I replied, “this is nothing” and explained why, I was attacked for denying the accusation. One REAL magazine belittled me for trying to excuse the indefensible…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
He said tentacle porn.
Heh.
14…from there, the lies grew. Suddenly, it became I was sharing tentacle porn with my underage children. One of my ADULT sons tweeted that everything I was saying was true but I told him to delete the tweet – the mob, I warned him, would come after him…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
15…No matter. They did anyway. They have come after all of my kids and my wife. My feed has been bombarded with tentacle porn. Prominent people declared the lies were true, based on nothing. Last week, @MeghanMcCain tweeted to her followers that the lie about me was true….
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Now Meghan McCain is the bad guy?
And OMG this is long.
16…in response to my pointing out the hypocrisy of an argument she made attacking David Hogg. @Mediaite reported her tweet, implying once more that the lie was true. I decided this had to stop. So, I know I will be attacked for responding to the mob, for telling the truth…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Poor baby.
17…for not "confessing" to the mob’s beliefs. That will happen on social media and on legitimate news pages. To which i say: Grow up. Since when has fact and response no longer been relevant in discussion?..
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.
We’re the ones who need to grow up.
K.
18…finally, the “I attacked a Parkland kid” fantasy. I never heard of this kid. He appeared on my feed, unprovoked, railing about tentacle porn. He never mentioned guns, Parkland, or politics. Just “tentacle porn.” His followers swarmed me, tweeting pornography and strobes…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Kurt attacked Kyle.
Then he pretended he got Kyle confused with some other high school kid because it seems Kurt has a wealth of high school kids arguing with him.
19…which have been used by people who know I have epilepsy to trigger a seizure. Another high schooler with a podcast and a large following had been demanding I respect him and debate him. He also railed about tentacle porn, setting off attacks, a few weeks earlier…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
There’s the tentacle porn again.
20…and so I thought it was the same person. And this is why I replied to someone who tweeted “tentacle porn!” at me, thinking he was the one who kept demanding my respect, "this is why I didn’t respect u." 3 minutes later, I realized this was a Parkland kid, deleted the tweet…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Uh huh.
21….So, remember all of this for later today. Parts will be good to know when I rip the conservative media bubble, and the liberal information bubble, to shreds. Both are destroying our country. The Russians don't need to do anything anymore. We are doing it to ourselves.
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Yawn.
21…& apologize. (Note: I apologized for my having responded to an insult. Again, he made no political arguments, no indication of who he was. Just "u like tentacle porn" lies) Then the swarm started. People I respect, including @Montel_Williams chastised me for attacking a…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Montel. EL OH EL.
22…a Parkland kid for disagreeing with me, when all I knew about this person was he believed the tentacle porn lies. And the conservative media was all over it, claiming that unknowingly responding to someone uve never heard of saying "tentacle porn!" is the same as an…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Kurt would have to have his head buried under the sand at the bottom of the ocean for us to believe he didn’t really know who Kyle Kashuv was …
23…unprovoked attempt to denigrate a specific kid, ANOTHER Parkland survivor, simply because he disagrees with you. The only thing I know I disagree with the kid who went after me is, the tentacle porn nonsense is a lie. I STILL have never heard anything political from him…
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Wha?
Ok, we can’t read anymore.
But then he tweeted this:
I am delighted to announce that, as expected, my last thread brought out hundreds of trolls who are now being automatically blocked. When they speak, they're blocked. And I don't have to do a thing. Someone more clever than I came up with the way to do it.
— Kurt Eichenwald (@kurteichenwald) April 2, 2018
Yay, he’s using a block bot!
And WOW, what a dumpster fire of stupid this manifesto was. We think he’s trying to convince the world that none of what he’s done is his fault and that Russia, Meghan McCain and Kyle Kashuv are all out to get him.
That or the tentacle porn finally got to him.
Related:
‘Them’s the rules, RIGHT?’ Will David Hogg punish Kurt Eichenwald for this ‘attack’ on Kyle Kashuv?
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