Earlier today, Twitchy covered a smug, liberal author named Patrick S. Tomlinson who wrote a ridiculous thread that would somehow prove that life doesn’t begin at conception. Dude spent like 12 tweets with 280 characters each preening about saving a five-year-old over a bunch of frozen embryos … yeah, it was exceptionally stupid.
But Twitter being Twitter, Ben Howe stepped up and made the perfect mockery of Tomlinson’s thread:
Whenever Star Wars comes up, I have a question I've been asking for ten years now of the "Star Trek is better" crowd. 1/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
*popcorn*
It's a simple scenario with two outcomes. No one ever wants to pick one, because the correct answer destroys their argument. 2/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Here it is. You're at comicon. The fire alarm goes off. You run for the exit. 4/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
A FIRE AT COMICON? NOOOOOO!
As you run down this hallway, you hear William Shatner yelling at hotel staff. You enter the room. 5/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
They're in one corner of the room. In the other corner, you spot Harrison Ford piercing his other ear with a gaudy diamond stud. 6/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Go on.
The smoke is rising. You start to choke. 7/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
You know you can shame one or the other but not both before you die of smoke inhalation and die, showing favoritism to neither franchise. 8/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
But Star Trek! Star Wars! This isn’t fair … what an impossible question!
Do you A) film Shattner and yell “PHASERS ON KILL!” when the hotel staff calls him a washed up has-been? 9/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Never!
Or B) Show Ford a picture of himself and call him “Han Gaylo?” There is no "C." "C" means you no one gets pwned on message boards later. 10/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Hrm.
In a decade of arguing with Star Wars people about the definition of fandom, I've never gotten a straight A/B answer to this question. 11/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Well, of course the correct answer is bacon.
It’s always bacon.
And I never will. 12/
— Ben Howe (@BenHowe) October 17, 2017
Thanks for reminding us why we still love Twitter – sometimes.
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