Just add this to the ‘Adults Making Up Stories About Their Woke Children’ table book …
There are only two realities possible with people who tweet this sort of nonsense about their kids: 1) They have so inundated and indoctrinated their own children with their views and politics that they’re not allowing them to BE children or, 2) They’re lying their as*es off using their kid as a shield to make some lame political statement on Twitter.
Neither is a great look.
Case in point:
Me to 8-y-o: Who do you want to win, the Bengals or the Rams?
8-y-o: What difference does it make? It's not like the winner is going to solve climate change.
Super Bowl weekend in the Scheiber-Sullivan household got heavy real quick…
— Noam Scheiber (@noamscheiber) February 13, 2022
It appears from the comments that Twitter is divided between those who believe that this interaction with your 8 year-old never happened and those who believe that it did, but think that you're evil for both ruining a football game & destroying his childhood. It's bad either way.
— Joel M. Petlin (@Joelmpetlin) February 13, 2022
Why are they always 8?
— Max (@MaxNordau) February 13, 2022
Do you always lie about your child, or do you only do it for fake Internet points?
— Erik Soderstrom (@soderstrom) February 13, 2022
I believe your child could have said this. It would mean he has an outsize fear of climate change. Much of what makes it to children are exaggerated exaggerations of worst-case scenarios. Lots of young people believe civilization will collapse within their lifetimes.
— matt dooley (@mdooley) February 13, 2022
Kid might need some counseling.
— Dan 🇺🇸 (@danieltobin) February 13, 2022
Why do you lie? It can’t be a joke because it’s not funny. I feel sorry for your kid.
— NotYourJewishMom (@just_Libert_e) February 13, 2022
I wonder if the kid was masked up when he said that?
— Andy Corwin (@awcorwin) February 13, 2022
I'm going to take you at your word that it happened, which means you've raised an apathetic, possibly despondent 8-year-old. You definitely deserve father of the year awards.
— NiedermeyersDeadHorse aka NDH (@NiedsG) February 13, 2022
Imagine thinking you’re “Father of the Year” for this.
— Lil’ Penguin 🐧 (@SckNTyrd) February 13, 2022
*rolls eyes into permanent ocular dysplasia*https://t.co/yCQFxIlkjl
— Leigo… imbued w/some kind of malevolent sentience (@yieldright) February 13, 2022
Either this didn't happen (most likely)
Or you're setting your kid up for decades of therapy
— Watjalukinat (@watjalukinat) February 13, 2022
Would have been so much better if you made the kid say "tackle" climate change.
The beauty of fiction lies in the opportunity to embellish a narrative with wit.
— ʞɹıɯS (@FoundersGirl) February 13, 2022
Yeah, he should have used that one.
Me to 8-y-o: check this tweet out…
8-y-o: Good thing that's just bad fiction, if that kid was real, they would have no friends and every day in school, they'd be catching hands
— Minor incursion O’Houlihan (@Earnest_T_Bass) February 13, 2022
Why are you tweeting this? It's not like this tweet is going to solve climate change.
— Russell Flowers (@ChoralReave) February 13, 2022
— jimtreacher.substack.com (@jtLOL) February 13, 2022
I literally thought this was a parody tweet at first. It's getting impossible to tell these days.
— AJ Powers (@aj_powers) February 13, 2022
Yes, this is true. As a site that spends the majority of its time covering stupid on Twitter, it’s getting harder and harder to tell parody from reality.
Luckily, there is usually a pretty blue checkmark by their names so we at least know they’re real.
Like this ‘father of the year’.