Portland protests are so peaceful they are telling protesters how to make shields.

Because everybody knows you need a good ‘shield’ when you’re peaceably assembling for systemic change.

Look at this:

This looks like it came from some LARP group.

Keep going.

Oh, good.

Glad they hid tattoos and stuff.

Peaceful.

Super peaceful.

It strikes us how they’re incapable of realizing these are riots and not protests.

Gotta have the popcorn and Mt. Dew.

Step 2.) Get a sh*t-load of glitter glue.

A hand-drill.

Alrighty.

Noodlers.

Adorbs.

Super important that each shield is spray painted.

Heh.

Imagine if these people actually had jobs.

Totes adorbs.

***

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‘Epstein. Flight logs. Bleach bit.’ Rep. Matt Gaetz catches Hillary Clinton subtweeting him like a coward and WHOA NELLY