WTAF?! Blue-checked professor tweets thread detailing EXACTLY how to pull down the Washington Monument

We have seen a lot of disgusting, repugnant tweets and threads on Twitter, especially with the riots going on across the country. But this thread from a professor named Sarah Parcak giving very specific details on how to destroy the Washington Monument is a humdinger of horrible.

Take a look.

PSA For ANYONE who might be interested in how to pull down an obelisk* safely from an Egyptologist who never ever in a million years thought this advice might come in handy

*might be masquerading as a racist monument I dunno

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Racist monument.

She’s adorable.

My Bona Fides: I'm an Egyptologist. I have worked in Egypt for 20 years and know a lot about ancient Egyptian architecture. Especially how they raised obelisks.

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Maybe stay in Egypt?

The key to pulling one down is letting gravity work 4 you. Chances are good the obelisk extends into the ground a bit, so you want to get CHAINS NOT ROPE (it's 2020 AD not BC let metal work for you) extended tightly around the top (below pointy bit) and 1/3 down forming circles

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Imagine thinking this is something smart to post on Twitter.

For every 10 ft of monument, you'll need 40+ people. So, say, a 20 ft tall monument, probably 60 people. You want strong rope attached to the chain—rope easier to hold onto versus chain. EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE WEARING GLOVES FOR SAFETY (there is a lot of safety first)

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Keep in mind they have been fact-checking and limiting the president’s tweets but so far they’ve left these up.

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But you know, there’s no bias on Twitter.

You probably want 150+ ft of rope x 2…you'll want to be standing 30 feet away from obelisk so it won't topple on you (your safety! first!). This gives enough slack for everyone to hold on to rope, alternating left right left right. Here's the hard part…pulling in unison

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

You have two groups, one on one side, one opposite, for the rope beneath the pointy bit and the rope 1/3 down. You will need to PULL TOGETHER BACK AND FORTH. You want to create a rocking motion back and forth to ease the obelisk from its back.

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

I recommend a rhythmic song. YOU WILL NEED SOMEONE WITH A LOUDSPEAKER DIRECTING. There can be only one person yelling. Everyone will be alternating on rope left right left right not everyone on the same side. No one else near the obelisk! Safety first!

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

If she thinks this is something funny worth tweeting while the country burns she really needs to grow a soul.

Start by a few practice pulls to get into it. Think of it like a paused tug of war, pull, wait 2, 3, 4, 5 PULL wait 2, 3 4,5. PULL AS ONE, PAUSE 5 SECONDS, you'll notice some loosening, keep up the pattern…you may need more people, get everyone to pull!

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Just keep pulling till there's good rocking, there will be more and more and more tilting, you have to wait more for the obelisk to rock back and time it to pull when it's coming to you. Don't worry you're close!

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

WATCH THAT SUMBITCH TOPPLE GET THE %^&* OUT OF THE WAY IT WILL SMASH RUN AWAY FROM DIRECTION.

Then celebrate. Because #BlackLivesMatter and good riddance to any obelisks pretending to be ancient Egyptian obelisks when they are in fact celebrating racism and white nationalism

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

OK because this is twitter I need to clarify: PLEASE DO NOT PULL DOWN ACTUAL ANCIENT EGYPTIAN OBELISKS that was not the point of this thread.

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Here’s a rough schematic. I note this is experimental archaeology in action! Just my professional Hot Take and you may need more people, longer rope, etc. everything depends on monument size. pic.twitter.com/lzl55CSPNt

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

There might be one just like this in downtown Birmingham! What a coincidence. Can someone please show this thread to the folks there.

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

BUT OF COURSE THIS IS ALL ENTIRELY HYPOTHETICAL

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Of course.

ALSO PLEASE DO NOT PULL DOWN WASHINGTON MONUMENT

— Sarah Parcak (@indyfromspace) June 1, 2020

Awful harpy.

Stop being a garbage person, Sarah. FFS

— Mo Mo (@molratty) June 1, 2020

You support terrorist filth. Duly noted.

— Mark C, austere BBQ scholar ?? (@UntraceableMC) June 1, 2020

In your feeble imagination

— ?️‍?Miro??Slav. Soon?? (@gaydraka) June 1, 2020

Pretty mediocre

— Dino (@dinok1975) June 1, 2020

What is the difference between what you’re doing and someone listing advice on how to build a pipe bomb?

— Mike Iscovitz (@Fox26Mike) June 1, 2020

Nothing.

***

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