NO Tomfoolery! Retired Orrin G. Hatch's thread about his upcoming bus tour hilariously MOCKS Joe 'Malarkey' Biden

You know what’s funny? If Orrin G. Hatch actually was running for president and went on a ‘No Tomfoolery’ bus tour he’d probably get elected.

THIS IS SO GREAT.

We get it, he’s making fun of Joe Biden and his malarkey but this is so clever. The account has gone beyond a simple dunk-thread into an art form … take a gander.

Tomorrow I am launching a “No Tomfoolery” bus tour across Iowa to see the state and ensure there is no tomfoolery taking place. pic.twitter.com/hdk1nHtbX7

— Retired Orrin G. Hatch (@RetiredOrrin) December 3, 2019

That’s right! No Tomfoolery allowed!

On Wednesday we will kick off our “No Folderol” seniors parade float, which will slowly drive across Iowa to stamp out any and all illicit folderol and fiddle dee dee. pic.twitter.com/GMvO0AJoLE

— Retired Orrin G. Hatch (@RetiredOrrin) December 3, 2019

Gotta watch out for that ‘fiddle dee dee.’

You betcha.

On Thursday I am thrilled to announce the launch of our “No Poppycock” horse-drawn carriage excursion, which will trot around Iowa in search of poppycock to eliminate with extreme prejudice.

Poppycock does not stand a chance against us. pic.twitter.com/jMD4h5V8Mr

— Retired Orrin G. Hatch (@RetiredOrrin) December 3, 2019

Poppycock better watch out!

In my travels I came across a troupe of former Buttigieg volunteers who had been cast out for missing steps in the official campaign dance.

Friday they take the stage with new life in turkey costumes as part of my “No Gobbledygook” song and dance.

Goodbye forever Gobbledygook. pic.twitter.com/hi5e6AeKyv

— Retired Orrin G. Hatch (@RetiredOrrin) December 3, 2019

On Saturday evening we will be holding a “No Balderdash Potato Mash” in Ames, Iowa.

I’ll join a group of young, vigorous supporters to mash potatoes and put an end to dastardly balderdash, once and for all. pic.twitter.com/TJ76K6wsH7

— Retired Orrin G. Hatch (@RetiredOrrin) December 3, 2019

No balderdash!

OMG this thread is everything.

I’m waiting for the ‘No Shenanigans’ bus

— Zombie Dachshund (@ZombieDachshund) December 3, 2019

There’ll be none of that!

#GitOffOurLawn

What’s the ruling on Snitchengrubens? pic.twitter.com/qqZ1Uu9Y8a

— Lilly VonSchtp (@LilyVonSchtp) December 3, 2019

Gold star for spelling Snitchengrubens correctly.

Wow! You whippersnappers really know how to party it up! 😉

— Nina Bookout (@NDBook96) December 3, 2019

What's your position on hornswoggling, senator?

— unemployedUnai (@llcthecableguy) December 3, 2019

Lollygagging. Something needs to be done about lollygagging.

— Edward Kerpsack (@EKerpsack) December 3, 2019

Lollygagging is the worst!

This man is the cat’s pajamas!

— tmitsss (@Tmitsss) December 3, 2019

Do you think the “No Malarkey” tour is just Joe sitting in the Captain’s chair and just constantly looking back over his shoulder saying “don’t make me stop this bus” or “I’ll turn this bus around and go home, I mean it”.

— John Egan (@eganMU) December 3, 2019