Need a little break from politics? Hey man, we get it, we need breaks here and there too and this ‘tale’ from Steak_Umm may be one of our favorite things on Twitter EVER.

You’re welcome.

Beeflings are a thing. Who knew?

Anyone else feel like they’re reading ‘Lord of the Rings’ here? C’mon people, crack a book.

Side note, beef elder sounds like a ska band from the ’90s.

Fish Queen was surely mellifluous as most fish queens are … yeah?

Not up on your fish queen lore? Fair.

The fate of all meat is now in the hands of Steak-Umm.

We snickered.

Beware the Hot Pocket … HA HA HA HA. You know those things are filled with phlogiston, right?

Sheesh, and we thought Tolkien was wordy.


We love Steak-Umm.

Wait, what? Nicolas Cage?


All meats could live in harmony once more.


Steak-Umm bless … nice touch.


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‘Crumbs’: Nancy Pelosi’s excuse for vacationing in Hawaii during govt. shutdown is the most Nancy Pelosi thing EVER

DOOOD, WAT?! Bernie Sanders Deputy Chief of Staff’s explanation for how Americans can pay for ‘free college’ goes REALLY wrong