Mental note. If you are capable of taking a selfie of a wound and tweeting about it odds are you do NOT need to go to the ER.
Second mental note, never set yourself up for the ultimate trolling in Twitter history by asking Twitter about ANYTHING important.
Should you cut your bangs? Fine to ask Twitter.
Should you go to the ER? Eh, pass.
Luckily Jonathan Chait didn’t take our advice:
My God, it may be the best exchange on Twitter of the entire year. pic.twitter.com/q4YH0Eek6H
— Jeff B. (@EsotericCD) July 13, 2018
His mom warned him he’d shoot his eye out.
OMG we so had to find a way to work a line from ‘A Christmas Story’ into this piece. Don’t @ us.
It's up there with the legendary Dawkins/pknocker90 dialogue.
— Jeff B. (@EsotericCD) July 13, 2018
I believe in America again.
— Jeff B. (@EsotericCD) July 13, 2018
#MERICA.
My god that's amazing. The patience, the dedication to the craft.
— Seth Mandel (@SethAMandel) July 13, 2018
He really waited for that punchline, didn’t he?
Well-played.
OMG.
— Pradheep J. Shanker, M.D., M.S. (@Neoavatara) July 13, 2018
RIGHT?!
WebMD would say he has cancer.
— not sure ? (@TheGuvenuh) July 13, 2018
WebMD’s answer to every question is CANCER.
‘Hey WebMD, how long should I leave the pot roast in the oven?’
‘You want pot roast to have an internal temperature of 150 oh and by the way, YOU HAVE CANCER!!!’
WebMD told me last night I had cancer. Turns out I was just out of wiper fluid.
— Sha (@quip1) July 13, 2018
See?
— tmi3rd (@tmi3rd) July 13, 2018
— Josh Jordan (@NumbersMuncher) July 13, 2018
Does Chait understand what the ER is for? If you have the time to poll twitter in whether your scratch is worthy of a trip to the Emergency Room, you likely don’t need to go. Then there is the response which is among the greatest of all time!! Lol
— Jared Brooks (@Brooks11202) July 13, 2018
See, Jared agrees with us.
My 'inner child', just pissed himself, laughing.
— Vanirwolf (@Vanirwolf) July 13, 2018
Psh, inner child nothing.
Ha!
Related:
This sh*t is OFF THE HOOK! Louie Gohmert goes OFF on Peter Strzok and Democrats just LOSE IT
‘Unprecedented CONTEMPT for America!’ James Woods sums Peter Strzok and Dems up in 1 BRUTAL tweet
