Kurt Eichenwald decided to write some sort of manifesto about his being the victim on Twitter.

Yeah, we made that exact same face and then we read through it and OMG.

Warning.

This is long.

Damn long.

And there is a good deal of whining involved, and even a few tweets on tentacle porn.

But all of that being said, THIS IS HILARIOUS:

Kurt is WOKE now folks.

Considering Kurt has both this editor and Twitchy blocked he wouldn’t see us if we did say that in the first place.

But we digress.

Narrator: He’s not open to all policy considerations.

He did attack a Parkland kid.

And we’re not the ones who had a tab open about tentacle porn on our desktop.

But whatevs.

It’s only absurd to talk truth when your truth is not the truth.

That sounds like a fortune cookie …

RUSSIA RUSSIA RUSSIA!

That didn’t take long.

Wait, where’s 9?

You know what, never mind.

So the Russians are out to get him?

No way we’re looking that up, Kurt.

Sure.

He said tentacle porn.

Heh.

Now Meghan McCain is the bad guy?

And OMG this is long.

Poor baby.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.

We’re the ones who need to grow up.

K.

Kurt attacked Kyle.

Then he pretended he got Kyle confused with some other high school kid because it seems Kurt has a wealth of high school kids arguing with him.

There’s the tentacle porn again.

Uh huh.

Yawn.

Montel. EL OH EL.

Kurt would have to have his head buried under the sand at the bottom of the ocean for us to believe he didn’t really know who Kyle Kashuv was …

Wha?

Ok, we can’t read anymore.

But then he tweeted this:

Yay, he’s using a block bot!

And WOW, what a dumpster fire of stupid this manifesto was. We think he’s trying to convince the world that none of what he’s done is his fault and that Russia, Meghan McCain and Kyle Kashuv are all out to get him.

That or the tentacle porn finally got to him.


Related:

‘You’re LYING.’ Kyle Kashuv OWNS ‘unhinged hypocrite’ Kurt Eichenwald, tells him to act like an ADULT

‘Them’s the rules, RIGHT?’ Will David Hogg punish Kurt Eichenwald for this ‘attack’ on Kyle Kashuv?