Seems a pretty safe guess that Dennis Miller is less than impressed with what the 90th Oscars has to offer this year. While many of us are skipping the yearly awards show where a bunch of wealthy, self-centered, progressive Hollywood elite pat themselves on the back for reading words someone else wrote for them, most of us probably aren’t so underwhelmed with the awards show that we’d rather do this:
As opposed to watching the Oscars tomorrow, I'm opting to kayak solo across the Pacific with a rabid raccoon loose in the leg space of the vessel.
— Dennis Miller (@DennisDMZ) March 4, 2018
Raccoons aren’t friendly ANYWAY, but a rabid one almost makes Chelsea Handler seem like a nice person.
It will be a lot less painful…
— Che Huahua (@_BottomLineGuy_) March 4, 2018
Which says so much about the disaster the Oscars has turned into over the years.
Oh, are the Oscars on tomorrow night? We have Big Bang Theory and NCIS Los Angeles reruns on the schedule.
— Patti-Bayou ???? (@Patti_Bayou) March 4, 2018
Wait, you mean you’re not kayaking across the Pacific with a rabid raccoon in your boat? Buzzkill.
Coward, your way is less painful and over and done with much more quickly
— Jeff Kiser (@1962Kiser) March 4, 2018
We're in pic.twitter.com/yvDAnl6WsK
— StanleyFosha (@stanleyfosha) March 4, 2018
Is this the new Tide Pod trend?
I have something even more fun planned. I'm giving one of my kidneys to a wino.
— Sean Spoonts (@sean_spoonts) March 4, 2018
What a giver.
Film your voyage, release it this summer, and you could win an Oscar for it next year.
— D.T. Dickinson (@dtdickinson) March 4, 2018
Oooh, good plan.
I’ve opted for not one, but TWO colonoscopies! Less painful than the Oscars!
— KaraLea (@russianwaters44) March 4, 2018
I'm attaching a 50,000 volt power line to my testicles and poking sharp sticks in both of my eyes.#Oscarpervsondisplay
— The Tall Tennessean (@budreaux44) March 4, 2018
I’d rather clean the Lint out of my Toenails & give myself a Pedicure with a hand held grinder!
— Roger (@RogerDodger426) March 4, 2018
I'm opting to clean out the Chicken Coop.
The crap isn't knee deep & it comes from hard working individuals
— KATSKAN (@TheRaytedex) March 4, 2018
To change your comments display name, click here.