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Make Apple Pie Great Again! McDonald's Makes YUGE Announcement for America 250

Grateful Calvin
Grateful Calvin  |  4:30 PM on June 16, 2026


Younger generations often roll their eyes at Boomers and Gen X for a popular saying among people of a certain age: 'We used to be a proper country.' A saying that often goes along with this is 'Look what they took from us.' 

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But that's because Millennials and Gen Zers have never known the exquisite pleasure of biting into a fried McDonald's apple pie. The ubiquitous fast food chain phased these heavenly ingots of molten hot lava out of their restaurants around 1992. 

Thanks a lot, Bill Clinton and Al Gore!

But all of that is about to change this summer. For America's 250th birthday, McDonald's has announced that it is bringing back the genesis of so many emergency room visits: the fried apple pie.

For the second time in two days, this writer will exclaim, 'HELL, YEAH!' 

The only thing we are looking forward to more than buying several of these for ourselves this summer is seeing the reaction videos from young people when they take their first bite. The look of ecstasy on their faces will likely rival that of Europeans who try Texas barbecue for the first time, or walk into their first Buc-ee's. 

Here is part of the announcement from McDonald's: 

Summer tends to move fast – but the moments worth remembering don’t. And with America’s 250th birthday around the corner, we’re bringing back a fan-favorite and bona fide national treasure made for slowing down and savoring the season: the Fried Apple Pie.

If you know, you know. If you don't, June 23 is your chance to find out. The OG Fried Apple Pie is back at participating restaurants nationwide for a limited time. The all-day menu item features our signature filling made with 100% American-grown apples, wrapped in the same golden crunch and flaky fried crust fans remember – or soon won’t forget.

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Unfortunately, McDonald's has only guaranteed the availability of these deep-fried national treasures through July 4, so get 'em while you can. 

But if enough Americans celebrate our greatness with a purchase of this delectable treat, we're guessing old Ronald McDonald will keep them around for a while longer -- or at least bring them back on a regular basis, like the McRib. 

But even if only for a couple of weeks, we are making apple pie great again! 

Combine this with some Pizza Hut restaurants bringing back red plastic cups, salad bars, and Ms. Pac-Man, and we are truly entering the Golden Age, just as our 47th President promised.

McDonald's did not mention Donald Trump in its statement, but let's be real here. 

Does anyone believe we'd be getting fried apple pies back if Kamala Harris were President? 

This is what 77 million of us voted for!

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The funny (and regrettable) thing about Mickey D's phasing out the beloved fried pies for a baked version back in the 1990s is that they said it was to offer 'healthier choices.' But according to ABC News, the baked pie actually had more calories, despite being smaller and FAR less tasty. 

Prayers answered. 

As we noted above, if we buy enough of them, they will. McDonald's is a business above all. 

HA! 

No one tell the younger kids. 

After all, if you haven't melted the roof of your mouth like the One Ring being cast into the fires of Mount Doom, have you even really had one? 

Damn straight. 

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Come on. You can cheat on that healthy diet for just one of these, can't you? 

We promise not to tell RFK Jr. 

See? If Wesley Hunt can make an exception, we can all make an exception. 

It's gonna be one HELL of a summer! 

The greatest day of your life ... so far. 

The real greatest day will be on June 23, when you can actually go buy one, eat one, and proceed directly to the closest burn unit. 

We even welcome lefties to come and enjoy the scalding hot deliciousness with American patriots.

Just try not to sue Trump over the resulting trauma to your soft palate.

(Dang. We just gave them an idea, didn't we?)

As World Cup fans from around the world are discovering this summer, it's not even close. 

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Fun fact: Washington actually meant to chop down an apple tree, not a cherry tree, so he could make one of these beauties. 

True story. 

The cherry pie was also pretty awesome. But this is America 250. And there's nothing more American than apple pie. 

Fried apple pie. 

Served at a temperature roughly equal to that of Hiroshima on August 6, 1945.

Yes, we did. Yes, we are. And yes, it is.

Let's ... F***ing ... GO! 

Straight to the nearest McDonald's for America 250. 

God bless this land. And God bless apple pies that make napalm seem mildly warm at best. 

We ARE a proper country once again.

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