As you know well by this point, Dear Readers, the left is having a dang COME-APART over the detention center in Florida nicknamed 'Alligator Alcatraz.' (This writer will also accept 'Gator Gitmo' and 'Jawshank.') We have written about it extensively and you can read a couple of our stories here and here, for starters!
As if this story couldn't get any funnier, Fox News asked Alaskan officials if they had any plans for their own 'Alligator Alcatraz,' and the answer is pure gold. WATCH:
Fox News asked Alaska about opening an immigration detention center similar to the one in Florida:
— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) July 2, 2025
"We don't have alligators, but we have lots of bears." 🤣pic.twitter.com/yczq0Perf3
Annnnnnnd we are deceased!
Alabama has alligators and rednecks. https://t.co/4Kdbog9Ejz
— Dr. Interracial 🇺🇸 (@billysandytodd) July 2, 2025
As an Alabamian, this writer likes the idea, but Florida still has us beat because they have Florida Man. Think of rednecks hopped up on meth and Four Loko, combined with what amounts to living dinosaurs. The best Alabama can do is rednecks all jacked up on Skoal and Mountain Dew, with the occasional Natty Lite thrown in. It's a solid idea, we can hold our own here in the Yellowhammer State, but Florida will still always outshine us.
Texas needs a Tiger Alcatraz
— David (@_ALibertyWizard) July 2, 2025
Hey, don't underestimate a longhorn steer either.
BEARCATRAZ has a ring to it.
— David (@_ALibertyWizard) July 2, 2025
I think they should put a detention facility in Alaska and then call it “Grizzly Gulag”
— sherry (@mejuz4u1) July 2, 2025
Best one yet!
Deterrence doesn’t need fangs, just teeth. Alaska’s ready to play hardball too.
— Make Men Great Again (@OneXOneY) July 2, 2025
Alaska would be another great place! They have lots and lots of space!
— JKash 🍊MAGA Queen (@JKash000) July 2, 2025
Also, imagine the money we taxpayers will save on air conditioning for that facility!
Build it there where it get real cold also, they will want to deport quickly https://t.co/ReBIS3XI5S
— tim (@timmoore1973) July 2, 2025
See what we mean?
Or one of the uninhabited Aleutian Islands, no fences necessary. https://t.co/GCDT9XPdcr
— ProjectRINO (@TXPublius) July 2, 2025
Hey, volcanic islands can potentially solve the heating problem as well.
Alligator Alcatraz has nothing on Florida Man. Now if they were talking about incest, Arkansas would edge out Florida and Alabama, but it's close. 🤏🏻
— Asha'Man Jedi (@mhaelkatarn) July 2, 2025
Well, we've all seen Chelsea Clinton so there may be something to this... (Disclaimer: this writer does not suffer from depression or suicidal ideation LOL)
Omg. That would be cool… and cold. Put it on Kodiak and call it the Kodiak Keep. Or maybe with polar bears and call it the Polar Pen? Or maybe Grizzly Gulag/Gitmo? https://t.co/aKVlt8Ylz1
— MissJinxed (@iammissjinxed) July 2, 2025
Cheers to what should be up next —
— 45 — 47 (@MeanTweetsRule) July 2, 2025
Kodiak Alcatraz!
Bears outside the Bars, here we come.
😂😅🤣 pic.twitter.com/M65JVBXt8S
Mooses and bears, might work..... pic.twitter.com/NPhhqgxPCc
— Mooses Felix 🇺🇸 (@MoosesFelix) July 2, 2025
Oklahoma has Copperheads, Fire ants & don’t forget Bigfoot‼️
— GreyWarrior (@GaskillRebecca) July 2, 2025
All excellent suggestions!
What state (or country, we don't discriminate!) do you hail from and what would your mascot be?
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