Everyone loves a June wedding, right?
The warm weather, the fragrant flowers, the bride's beautiful gown, the spreadsheets, the questionnaires, the breakout sessions ...
Wait ... what?
Welcome to wedding ceremonies as held by the wokest of the woke left.
Yesterday, The New York Times tried to pay homage to the Manhattan nuptials of two of the leftist elite, former Eric Adams senior staffer Rachel Kelly Atcheson and Democrat pollster and lobbyist Sean Adrian McElwee.
Of course, the two were not married in a church. They officially tied the knot at the Manhattan City Clerk's office. But it was at the reception that the event turned into the nightmarish wedding from Hell.
Byron York captured the key details about the reception in a screenshot from The Times:
Good Lord. Just the guest list alone would make any normal person want to schedule a much more pleasant root canal surgery for that day. Plant-based nonprofit employees, alternative protein venture capitalists, hedge fund managers, and lobbyists?
As the saying goes, they must be so much fun at parties.
But maybe our favorite part is the end, where guests had to answer a purity test questionnaire to attend, and a spreadsheet was shared of everyone who would be there, just to make sure there were no undesirables who could have snuck in. And, of course, who wants gifts on their wedding day? Wouldn't everyone much prefer to force the guests to write a one-page honorific on how wonderfully superior the happy couple is?
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I can honestly say I’d rather spend the day in jail than attend that wedding.
— Rhett Bise 🍢🍢 (@herotransform8n) June 23, 2025
We might prefer a year in a supermax prison.
. . . in which wedding attendance has descended from a celebration of a joyous occasion, below an obligation, to downright punishment.
— Tedward Stickel (@StickelTedward) June 23, 2025
Doesn't this reception violate the Eighth Amendment to the Constitution or something?
This is my personal hell https://t.co/0FmNsJWcz9
— Deuce Boogaloo (@305Independent) June 23, 2025
Beelzebub himself couldn't devise a more horrific torture.
What are "plant-based nonprofit employees?" Groot? https://t.co/9EPG4InWPQ
— Atty Tom Dickinson (@AttyTMD) June 23, 2025
No idea. We're still trying to figure out what 'alternative protein venture capitalists' are.
Only thing missing is a land acknowledgment 😂😭 https://t.co/LlpznlPvsY
— big yikes industry lobbyist (@Swags_McGee_96) June 23, 2025
Oh, you can bet there was a land acknowledgement. Right before the board games.
Having to attend HR sessions at work is bad enough but I'd never forgive a couple who suckered me into using my free time to attend a wedding they had HR's on boarding and team building group run. https://t.co/LKi8fBVaQc
— Anchoress Applicant (@NRights1) June 23, 2025
You just KNOW the wedding planner was an AWFL who works in performance management.
Genuinely not sure which is worse, homework assignments or BYOB https://t.co/SOUrfbm9pT
— Jeff Smith (@JeffSmithMO) June 23, 2025
We've heard of weddings that have a cash bar before, which is fine if the couple doesn't have a lot of money to spend.
But BYOB?
https://t.co/Dk4IxYeRoO pic.twitter.com/Evr5oJSu1a
— Theocratic Dictator (@theodictator) June 23, 2025
If you invite me to your vegan wedding, I am showing up with
— eapenthampy (@eapenthampy) June 23, 2025
A half beef
A spit
Logs https://t.co/KMrj4vP2Vl
And not even a cold beer to wash down the horrible taste of tofuburgers.
Unless you brought your own. But the couple probably demanded that any beer on site be gluten-free, too.
Yikes, gonna have to bring out the big guns for that BYOB pic.twitter.com/Suz9Px2yyB
— thatguymike (@thatguymike_92) June 23, 2025
Just bring hemlock. It would be quicker.
Was my invitation lost in the mail?!
— Jan Moyer (@JanMoyer5) June 23, 2025
There is a GOD IN HEAVEN!!!!!! 🤣😂🤣😂
We would LOVE to see the questionnaire guests had to fill out to receive an invitation.
We can't imagine how many genders and pronouns were listed on it.
A forced questionnaire, an essay, and spreadsheets.
— Bill Rodgers (@brodgers01) June 23, 2025
Was this a wedding or a business seminar?
I bet the wedding cake was made from crickets
— Lili von Shtupp (@LvS_Redux) June 23, 2025
Are crickets vegan?
Oof
— WasHereForSports (@NJDevs82) June 23, 2025
Don’t walk away……run away from these nutjobs
If there was ever a time to pretend you didn’t receive an invitation, this is it.
— I Voted for This!🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 (@AresofRome) June 23, 2025
You could always say you had a previous engagement at a 'No Kings' protest.
Just another explanation of why conservatives are happier than liberals at every income level and every demographic category. These people are insufferable.
— KAP (@KPeikert) June 23, 2025
Virtually every study or research experiment run in the past several years confirms what we already know. Leftists are completely miserable, and they have absurdly high levels of mental illness.
Looking at this wedding reception from hell thrown by the leftist elite, it's not difficult to figure out why.
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