It's no secret that The Hill as a publication is completely in the tank for Democrats. There is no puff piece on a prominent Democrat that they will not publish. They're like People magazine for leftist politicians.
Even with that understanding, though, there are times when we run across a Hill story on Twitter and we can only ask one question:
'But why?'
That was the case yesterday when, in trying to help Hillary Clinton promote her new book (that she won't let anyone on Twitter tell her about), The Hill decided that it was important for American voters to know that Clinton has a nickname for her belly.
No, we are not joking and yes, we wish to God that we were.
Hillary Clinton shares nickname she gave her "postmenopausal" midsection https://t.co/dzrEMTW7rC
— The Hill (@thehill) September 17, 2024
Excuse us while we retch for a few minutes.
This is one of those times we have to apologize to readers for sharing something that no human eye should ever be subjected to. But it traumatized us, so we wanted to share the pain:
In 'Something Lost, Something Gained,' Clinton divulges everything from the nickname she coined for her “postmenopausal” stomach, to how a lunch with Michelle Obama left her hungry to why she’s embraced being dubbed 'Big Girl' by her staff.
Clinton, 76, said she decided to borrow an idea that comedian Wanda Sykes gave her: to bestow a name on her 'newly thick midsection.'
'I now call mine Beulah,' Clinton wrote. The former first lady described Beulah — and her friend’s stomach, Bertha — as 'stubborn old gals.' The pair decided, she said, 'if the two of them won’t go away, we might as well get on speaking terms with them.'
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Beulah? BEULAH? Where is Ben Stein when we need him?
OK, we now have to go throw up some more, so we're going to let Twitter take over for a little bit.
https://t.co/zb23sLBsX5 pic.twitter.com/AgzulaxLIz
— Michael Malice (@michaelmalice) September 17, 2024
— Sara Rose 🇺🇸🌹 (@saras76) September 17, 2024
— Sonny C (@WhoIsSonnyC) September 17, 2024
https://t.co/b901GbaEiW pic.twitter.com/hQrHR8A0JK
— Alexandra Bice (@alliebice) September 17, 2024
You can say that again. Why? Why is this something anyone needs to know? Why is this in Clinton's book? Why did The Hill want to make sure we all knew this was in Clinton's book?
Maybe most importantly, why didn't she name it 'Kuato'?
Sorry, we couldn't resist.
I hope there are photos! 😍
— 🫃🏼💉🇺🇦🥥Hollaria Briden, Esq. (@HollyBriden) September 17, 2024
LOL. Sometimes we love Holy Briden and sometimes -- for the exact same reasons -- we hate her.
Hillary Clinton is an EVIL DEEP STATE PUPPET who is trying to take Americans Free Speech.
— Maryland Election Integrity Group (@EFFE4USA) September 17, 2024
Don’t try to make her cute & likeable.
We don't think you have anything to worry about there. The mental image of Clinton's midsection -- especially with a name of its own -- will never be associated with the words 'cute' or 'likable.'
What is it with people and their lack of proper boundaries?! Eww! 😖🤮
— Zanshi 惨死 (D - Jar Kitteh) (@zanshi1) September 18, 2024
Pure, unadulterated narcissism. That's what it takes to believe the public wants to know things like this about you.
Sweet, merciful Jesus make it stop. 😬 https://t.co/zPAoDdKnVw
— Katie Scarlett (@Katiescarlet2) September 17, 2024
She really needs to just go away. Live out her life and loveless marriage on an island somewhere where no one has to hear from her ever again.
Then again, the more she talks, it's probably a good thing for Trump's chances in the election.
https://t.co/OT5ztRwfGH pic.twitter.com/piWIfJexMf
— Scott 📟 📻 (@thealfordplea) September 17, 2024
HA. It's a genuine possibility.
https://t.co/ULbV68zT36 pic.twitter.com/GSYkHuPy8C
— Kenny Powers🇺🇸 (@Kenn_Fn_Powers) September 17, 2024
https://t.co/IgUtVz4D0r pic.twitter.com/AGJbdgDYKj
— BoJameson (@MDbornandbred) September 17, 2024
Anyone know a good way to get vomit out of a keyboard?
— DougieOh (@DougieOh) September 17, 2024
Just remember to blot. Don't rub. That will only make it worse.
She named her FUPA and you guys are reporting on it? This is all very weird.
— Kelli Ann (@smashmouthjo) September 17, 2024
We're going to let you Google that acronym, Twitchy readers.
https://t.co/iFD5MEHXW9 pic.twitter.com/vw1qYjDKKH
— Emett The Great (@Emett_The_Great) September 18, 2024
The stupid cow probably calls it Benghazi when it makes a fuss she doesn't like. https://t.co/lUQgrXqpMu
— Jester, pHD (@Clown947) September 17, 2024
OOF.
OK, that was a damn good joke right there.
Epstein Island? https://t.co/wAiW7azAjo
— //// (@DARKT0LIGHT) September 17, 2024
She couldn't have named it that or else Bill Clinton would be attracted to it.
Jabba the Hutt?
— J Savage (@BlueMoonSavage) September 17, 2024
[Spit laugh.]
https://t.co/VFk7d0zXE5 pic.twitter.com/vKVtJhRAvU
— KeepOregonSavage (@KeepORsavage) September 17, 2024
Sorry, horse. We regret that you had to see this.
https://t.co/bJsZl6K7Lo pic.twitter.com/4SPOAwEqNX
— JOEY STEELE🧙♂️ (@MDnucklehead) September 17, 2024
You weren't alone in that sentiment.
— RUM (@MAGAglock) September 17, 2024
Welp, I no longer want to live. https://t.co/Iy4mOnENoJ
— Aaron R from Scarborough (@cleverhandleguy) September 18, 2024
Stay with us, everyone. We will get over this trauma together.
All I wanted was pager memes, and this popped up. This is a hate crime. https://t.co/Xqj4bvG8ul
— BoCeeFuss (@Bo_cee_fuss) September 17, 2024
It's a crime against humanity is what it is.
The hill…you are now blocked. Jfc. I was eating lunch
— a kinder, gentler motherf**er (@autotunesuks) September 18, 2024
That lunch probably didn't taste as good coming back up.
Stop. Stop right now and delete this.
— Thick Hardcheese (@Bubble1Mc) September 17, 2024
It's seared into our retinas even if they did delete it.
We hate The Hill more than ever now.
Jesus Christ why pic.twitter.com/BwLea82lLH
— Alexander Vancel (@AlexanderVancel) September 17, 2024
See? That's what we said.
God I hope Trump sees this https://t.co/h6MlwaiUUl
— DYoung (@iamdyoung1) September 17, 2024
Oh, please God, do NOT show this to Donald Trump.
Don't get us wrong. He would have some extremely hilarious things to say about it. His reaction even might make for a great Twitchy article.
But Trump needs to stay focused. He's got an election to win. And if he saw this, he might riff on it for days. Weeks, even.
We couldn't even really blame him. It's just that mockable.
But for the sake of America, can we all promise not to let Trump know about Hillary's friend 'Beulah'?
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