It's Friday afternoon, Twitchy readers. Could you use a laugh? We know we could.
We've spent this week being gaslit, lied to, and subjected to whatever the hell it was that Kamala Harris was saying on the tarmac at Joint Base Andrews. We need a break.
Thankfully, Twitchy favorite Jarvis had some receipts and a lot of time on his hands this afternoon.
[Side Note: People with a Twitter account and too much time on their hands are either the greatest thing ever or a harbinger of the end of civilization. Probably both.]
It seems the world's favorite unhinged psychopath, Keith Olbermann, is upset that Twitter owner and Donald Trump supporter Elon Musk has created his own PAC.
For this atrocity, Olberman wants Musk arrested. Because that is a sane response.
Arrest @elonmusk for violations of FEC laws. Do it today. pic.twitter.com/yIReTcgLkw
— Keith Olbermann (@KeithOlbermann) August 2, 2024
Jarvis took note of this tweet because it was not the first time Olbermann has called for his political opposition -- or frankly, anyone he just doesn't like -- to be slapped in handcuffs.
What follows is an epic thread of all the times Olbermann has demanded someone be thrown in the clink.
Fair warning ... there are a lot of these instances.
Keith Olbermann has called for Elon’s arrest so I thought I would do a thread of my favorite times Keith has demanded someone be arrested along with why he wants them locked up.
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Elon Musk: Donating to a PAC that gathers voter info. pic.twitter.com/OpAI7vUbPF
And. Here. We. Go ....
Ron DeSantis: Flying migrants to Martha’s Vineyard pic.twitter.com/Fi4yzA40oy
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Recommended
Ahh, yes. Who can forget? Ron DeSantis must be guilty of treason for showing liberals firsthand the inevitable result of the open border policy of Joe Biden and his border czar Harris.
“Select Supreme Court Justices”: He didn’t like one of their rulings pic.twitter.com/vN2Q6z3BT8
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
This was after SCOTUS ruled that yes, the President does enjoy some limited immunity for actions taken as President. So, naturally, Keith went straight to banana republic fascism demanding that Biden arrest Clarence Thomas and Brett Kavanaugh, among others.
Rep MTG: Talking about border security pic.twitter.com/nCs9qtMvoz
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Saying words Olbermann does not like is a capital offense. We thought everyone knew that.
Tom Wilson: Fighting in hockey pic.twitter.com/XF5npMoWzj
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Holy sh*t, LOL. We have to pause for a moment with this one.
Tom Wilson is a hockey player. A bit of a goonish (yet very talented) hockey player, but still a hockey player. Olbermann wants him in prison.
(He probably got some support from Pittsburgh Penguins fans for that tweet.)
But Olbermann is more than a little obsessed with Wilson. We counted about 16 tweets he has sent out in just a few years screaming his hatred for the man.
Wilson should probably get a restraining order taken out against Olbermann and no, we are not joking about that.
Moving back to politics, Olbermann also wanted to arrest Rep. Paul Gosar. The crime? Supporting Donald Trump. Of course.
Rep. Gosar: Endorsing Trump pic.twitter.com/ZJscPoLx5u
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Imagine what Olbermann wants to do to anyone who wears a Trump hat. It probably involves lining them up against a wall.
Speaking of Trump, you didn't think he'd be left out of Olbermann's arrest spree, did you?
Donald Trump: Making terrorist threats pic.twitter.com/iUswmV7DnW
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Something tells us Olbermann misread Trump's words there. And something else tells us that he did so on purpose.
Ted Cruz: asking for an audit pic.twitter.com/QxQvAQlumy
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Wow, calling for the arrest of 10 federal legislators for asking for an election audit? Olbermann could be the (fraudulent) president of Venezuela with that kind of rhetoric.
We suppose Ted Cruz and Ron Johnson should be honored that Olbermann chose to name them personally out of the 10. So, they've got that going for them. Which is nice.
Rep Heather Scott: posting on Twitter a picture someone sent her pic.twitter.com/GOf7Unqso9
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
HAHAHAHA.
Sorry, we should treat this more seriously. Let us provide a more mature and thought-out reaction to that particular call for an arrest.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Chief Justice John Roberts: arrest needed if he doesn’t respond to a subpoena from Dick Durbin pic.twitter.com/do0i9r6g2H
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
The subpoena didn't even exist, but Olbermann still wanted Roberts arrested if he didn't respond to it.
We're thinking that maybe what Olbermann really needs is a nice Thorazine cocktail.
Jared Kushner: Espionage pic.twitter.com/HCmtPtct2w
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
No cause was even given for this one. Jared Kushner just needed to be arrested for ... reasons.
Last but not least, Olbermann returned again to the Trump family, this time asking for Donald Trump Jr. to be placed in shackles.
Donald Trump Jr: treason. pic.twitter.com/6w5T0EkAzq
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
LOL. RUSSIA, RUSSIA, RUSSIA. What a perfect 'chef's kiss' capper to the thread.
Jarvis wasn't quite finished yet, though. He had one last parting shot for Olbermann. As the cherry on top of this sundae of deranged wannabe fascism from Keith, Jarvis reminded everyone of the time that Olbermann told the entire world that he ... pees out of his eyes?
Ending it with my overall favorite Keith moment that doesn’t involve him demanding an arrest: the time he tried to dunk on someone but ended up saying he pisses on his own face. pic.twitter.com/gxvGmoRGez
— Jarvis (@jarvis_best) August 2, 2024
Perfection. Put it in the Twitter Hall of Fame. Olbermann will never ... ever live that one down. Nor should he.
Keith Olbermann is gonna call for the arrest of Jarvis, for creating the most amazing thread of the day.
— Andsuplexesforall (@Suplexesforall) August 2, 2024
We'd be surprised if he hasn't already, LOL.
If someone cares for @KeithOlbermann, I highly recommend a wellness check. This thread is a mile marker on the road to psychosis.
— Portón (@PortonActual) August 2, 2024
I could see this thread used in multiple court hearings someday. https://t.co/UWAfy8k0uT
We could easily see that happening. If Trump wins in November, it is entirely reasonable to imagine that Olbermann will completely snap. His mask of sanity has been slipping for a long time, and a Trump win may make it slide off for good. We hope his neighbors are well-protected.
We want to thank Jarvis for taking us on this journey through Keith Olbermann's own personal DSM-V though. It gave us a lot of much-needed laughs today.
We hope you got a kick out of it too.
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