Look, we get it. Twitter is a wild place. No matter what happens in the world, there are going to be some people out there who will invent a crazy theory as to what just happened.
Deadpool and Wolverine is killing at the box office? It must be the Rothchilds and Colonel Sanders behind it.
That video of a dog jumping into a pile of leaves that you love? That's the WEF and China sending you subliminal messages.
So, naturally, after Donald Trump was nearly assassinated, the crazy started coming out of the woodwork. Our favorite theory of all (so far) is that aliens saved Trump by deflecting the bullet.
As they say, 'BIG, if true.'
Unfortunately, our mainstream media has fallen into the crazy pool, with some major outlets like Newsweek questioning whether Trump was shot at all, but Twitchy has already covered those nutbars.
All of this is to say that we were surprised -- but not at all surprised -- to learn of a new theory out in the Twitterverse:
It was the CIA.
We're not sure which is crazier: the suggestion that Trump's assassin was a CIA MK-Ultra subject ... or the fact that the CIA responded to the allegation.
'What if US President Joe Biden’s ‘mean tweets’ triggered Thomas Matthew Crooks?' one X account that goes by the name Real Global News tweeted a couple days after the shooting. 'Yes like an #MKUltra test subject. I dont want to go into conspiracy theories here but the CIA did mind control experiments like the #ManchurianCandidate. Wait for the trigger before acting.'
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'I don't want to go into conspiracy theories here ...' That was our favorite part.
Another account with the handle @MJTruthUltra tweeted 'MKUltra anyone?' with a list of supposedly suspicious claims about Crooks and the way local police handled the investigation into the assassination attempt against Trump.
You have to admit, 'MK-Ultra' is a really cool name for some pretty horrific experiments that the CIA did conduct on people like Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, while he was at Harvard. (It is also pretty generally well-known now that the CIA experimented on Charles Manson.)
But it wasn't until the CIA itself responded to the allegations that anyone paid any attention to this theory.
'These claims are utterly false, absurd, and damaging,' a CIA spokesperson told Gizmodo on Thursday. 'The CIA had no relationship whatsoever with Thomas Crooks. Regarding MKULTRA, the CIA’s program was shut down more than 40 years ago, and declassified information about the program is publicly available on CIA.gov.'
Excuse us ... WHAT? Why is the CIA providing statements in response to this idea that was getting no traction outside of the tin foil hat crowd? And why does their statement sound a lot like Martin Short's Saturday Night Live attorney Nathan Thurm?
It's a pretty good commentary on the credibility of the CIA that after the statement, more were convinced that they were involved somehow (which may have been their intention).
The CIA has officially denied claims that the Trump shooter was an MKUltra plant…
— Chase Geiser (@realchasegeiser) July 28, 2024
Now it seems even more likely he was. pic.twitter.com/01NIVutlcb
Have no FEAR! - The CIA said "MKUltra was not used" on Trump shooter! - Phew! Glad we can believe them!https://t.co/oAHWKlihu0#MKUltra #CIA
— In2ThinAir (@In2ThinAir) July 29, 2024
Well, if the CIA said it, I am sure the conspiracy theories will settle down now. /shttps://t.co/v2vzkPbf4r
— John Greenewald, Jr. (@blackvaultcom) July 29, 2024
It's almost as if the CIA wanted to give fuel to the craziness. Not that they would ever intentionally do anything like that.
Fortunately, most of the saner corners of Twitter we explored weren't falling for it. Instead, they just had some fun at the CIA's expense.
My first thought pic.twitter.com/VwT8b9WzQG
— Carlos Btno Cigar🇺🇸♥️🍊♥️🇺🇸 (@CarlosBtnoCigar) July 28, 2024
Great ... more aliens.
Can't believe they just came out and confirmed it like that.
— . (@angryalbinoyeti) July 28, 2024
Nobody:
— ₿ased male™ 🇺🇸 (@GetMeRoss) July 28, 2024
The CIA: WE DIDN'T MKULTRA THE TRUMP ASSASSIN SO STOP ASKINGhttps://t.co/cZp5SLqYM8
HAHAHA. Reggie. Jackson. Must. Kill. The Queen.
It's not called MK Ultra anymore, so they didn't lie.
— Brandon (@ExperimentIndie) July 28, 2024
AHA. Now, we're on to something.
Ya see, @CIA used the MK Mega program on Crooks... not MK Ultra at all. https://t.co/wTw6yDWZlU
— Hank Toler (@realhankatola) July 29, 2024
LOL. Yep. Totally different program. Not related in the least (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).
What if i was to say that the liberal brain rot is a massive MKUltra Op on a global scale.. https://t.co/l2LcAMcAJN
— 由美焼鳥 Yumi Yakitori (@Hotategaidigit) July 29, 2024
Now, there's a theory we can get behind.
Since The Simpsons have already done everything, many people channeled their inner Bart for this weird statement from the CIA.
— Mostly Peaceful Memes (@MostlyPeacefull) July 28, 2024
Exactly.
Sure seems like a very odd thing to say? 🧐
— KarmaTime (@KarmaTime444) July 29, 2024
That means the CIA DEFINITELY used MKUltra on the Trump Shooter https://t.co/kQkKLZqLmY pic.twitter.com/T947lXDpW5
— Hell_Bound_Whiskey_Bent (@HellBndWskyBent) July 29, 2024
https://t.co/YtWMaxuJhr pic.twitter.com/vT5iuQVIrY
— Grumpy Veteran 🇨🇦 🍏🍎 (@ccanadian1965) July 29, 2024
Kramer works too.
What an odd thing say 🙄
— 🇺🇲Salty Texan (@texan_maga) July 28, 2024
CIA Denies Conspiracy Theory That It Used #MKUltra on Trump Shooter
Crooks wasn't part of some Manchurian Candidate-like plot, according to the spy agency.
Well, now I'm gonna have to check into this https://t.co/icjh2LWWV5
Noooooo. Don't fall for it. They'll put radio transmitters in your fillings if you start down this path.
Seriously though, it is difficult to think of a reason why the CIA would make this statement if they didn't mean to make more people want to give it credence.
We will not be doing that. Our response is the same as our response whenever the government does something that looks and smells like a distraction or a psyop:
Me rn. pic.twitter.com/WGcbeGafys
— Based Chef (@tattootoeknee) July 29, 2024
This is the way.
Memes will save the world. We're convinced of it.
But tell your kids anyway. That way, in 70 years, they can just nod knowingly when it does turn out that the CIA was behind the assassination attempt on Donald Trump.
(Just kidding ... maybe.)
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