Look, we get it. It's Halloween month. But, ummm, hey climate nutjobs? You don't need to be quite this ghoulish, you know?
From the Associated Press:
BREAKING: Police found at least 115 bodies at a "green" funeral home that doesn't use embalming chemicals or metal caskets. The mortuary is under investigation for handling human remains improperly. https://t.co/r9Uaxr3cNC
— The Associated Press (@AP) October 6, 2023
We were really hoping this story was a Halloween version of an April Fool's Day joke, but nope. It's real.
The Return to Nature Funeral Home in Penrose, Colorado, performed “green” burials without embalming chemicals or metal caskets.
The investigation centered on a building owned by the funeral home where local residents reported smelling a foul stench before police became involved.Deputies were called to the single-story building on Tuesday night in reference to a suspicious incident. Fremont County Sheriff’s Office investigators returned the next day with a search warrant and found the improperly stored remains.
Joyce Pavetti, 73, can see the funeral home from the stoop of her house and said she caught whiffs of a putrid smell in the last few weeks.“We just assumed it was a dead animal,” she said.
We'll spare you any additional details from the story in case you just ate ... or were about to eat.
But Twitter was less than impressed with the mortuary's 'green' practices.
— Thexx2!!2 (@thexx22) October 6, 2023
Is this part of the green new deal?
— Scott Harnett 🇺🇸 (@ScottHarnett_) October 6, 2023
If we don't let bodies rot in buildings, without even any refrigeration, the planet will end in 10 years. Or something.
115 rotting corpses, but at least it raised their sustainability score! https://t.co/VymDHKWdYn
— Comfortably Smug (@ComfortablySmug) October 6, 2023
The climate death cult lives up to its name even in the afterlife. pic.twitter.com/CQUhOHEd0a
— Mike Palicz (@Mike_Palicz) October 6, 2023
WHAT IS A "GREEN FUNERAL HOME" https://t.co/NMcPKJmySf
— Dana Loesch (@DLoesch) October 6, 2023
According to Return To Nature, a green funeral home means handing over $1895.00 (not including casket or cemetery space) to let your deceased loved ones rot in a hallway.
$1,895 for a 'natural burial'... https://t.co/kDw6XWEZ9I pic.twitter.com/sLoBo9KRXH
— Kelly 👒💜 (@kbal3259) October 6, 2023
SOYLENT GREEN FUNERAL HOME https://t.co/fN4YepqRQw
— President Dr RollerGator MVIP PhD (@drrollergator) October 6, 2023
— Mark The Shark (@MRaff57) October 6, 2023
OK, in fairness, no one is accusing Return To Nature of feeding the bodies to the rest of the town ... yet.
If you've never been around a large animal more than a day or two dead - deer, livestock, etc - you cannot possibly imagine what that must smell like. https://t.co/VExdab5A7K
— Pirates & Patriots (@Whisky_Patriot) October 6, 2023
To be perfectly honest, we'd prefer not to think about it, thank you very much.
#Greenwashing is a helluva hustle. Buyer beware. 💀 https://t.co/APKElwfmFB
— Scott Thill (@morphizm) October 6, 2023
I just gotta ask...who would be hiring a funeral home that looks like that from the outside? https://t.co/Ps9Dklakb8
— Jules Scott (@JulesRPG) October 6, 2023
The people who contracted with this funeral home likely knew what they were getting into, but still. If one of our family members was treated this way, we can't imagine how mortified we would be.
https://t.co/1TxQcvHp8v pic.twitter.com/r2C6YAHeeL
— Stephen L. Miller (@redsteeze) October 6, 2023
Leave it to @redsteeze to sum up the 'green' movement with a single meme. But somehow we don't think this answer is going to fly for this funeral home. Expect lawsuits against Return To Nature. And lots of 'em.
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