A lot of the talk this weekend in political social media circles is about reports on Texas Senate candidate James Talarico and his mystery vegan "girlfriend." I will keep putting that word in quotes until convinced otherwise, but for now just color me skeptical after the most convenient campaign reveal in recent political memory.
NEW: Dem. Senate candidate James Talarico’s mysterious girlfriend revealed — and she’s vegan @jchristenson_ @jdowningsardine report in @nypost https://t.co/C5Rbnf6mZB
— Marisa Schultz (@marisa_schultz) May 29, 2026
I've seen liberals posting pictures of the woman while claiming the story beclowns the Right, all while not once wondering why and how the media broke the story. And I can't wait to find out who fed it to them (three guesses, and the first two don't count).
This New York Post article in particular made me almost spit out my coffee:
Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico’s mysterious beau is a vegan political lobbyist who previously worked as his chief of staff, The Post has learned.
Brianna Menard, 30, describes herself as a “committed vegan,” yoga buff and cat mom who likes “dancing the night away” at local gay bar Cheer Up Charlies in Austin, according her bio at a local food coop, where she serves on the board.
Did the definition of the word "beau" change while I wasn't paying attention? It's probably a typo. But also pretend you never saw the "gay bar" part just so no priors get unduly confirmed.
At what point will Talarico formally introduce Texans to his friend with a uterus?
What does James talarico call women?
— Lone Star Liberty PAC (@LoneStar_PAC) May 28, 2026
"neighbors with a uterus" pic.twitter.com/aRO4nLi5GQ
At least the Talarico campaign might be about to score points with straight cisgendered men:
Texas Democrat James Talarico is a weird dude.
— Bobby LaValley (@Bobby_LaVallley) May 27, 2026
He described Republican colleagues as "straight cisgendered men." pic.twitter.com/N7C2xKPboM
What sane person talks like this? Remember when Dems were trying to claim JD Vance was "weird"? Considering what the Left's definition of normal is, that was actually a huge compliment.
Meanwhile, I'm expecting the pair's first public kiss to go as authentic as this:
I'm sure it's completely authentic and not for PR purposes whatsoever. 🙄 pic.twitter.com/2iLTKXyeT1
— Doug Powers (@ThePowersThatBe) May 30, 2026
Hand to God (not the nonbinary Talarico version that created six genders), I'll go ahead and predict that the more we know about this sudden relationship announcement the more absurd it will sound. Girlfriend aside, I'm 100 percent certain that we're going to see a lot more of Talarico's Howdy Doody look as he tries to pander to Texans:
WTF is this knob wearing? He looks like Howdy Doody? 🤣
— Buzz Patterson (@BuzzPatterson) May 30, 2026
Who dresses this kid?@jamestalarico pic.twitter.com/EHLjDizCwd
Next up: A cowboy hat, toy gun sidearm and chaps -- possibly being worn while Talarico's friend with a uterus starts calling him "Big Tex" or something similar.
